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Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education.

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. pNmL
People's opinions differ as to whether or not sport in schools is a wasted effort. While there are some strong arguments against having sport in schools and this is a crucial part of education, I still believe that having sport in schools has many benefits. There are several reasons why people might argue that sport is a waste of time and resources. Firstly, there is evidence to support the idea that sport is totally unnecessary to school children. Because they do not have time to do sport during the lessons. Moreover, if they spend their time for sport, they may not catch up with their hometasks, as a result. Secondly, many people would agree that it should not be learned, and should not be mandatory to study or to do it. In addition to it, there are many useful activities which are more helpful rather than sport. As an illustration, children can learn foreign languages, or some rules from math. Finally, it is recognised that it takes so much time to do it. Children may lose much time of theirs, as a consequence. In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that sport plays a crucial role in students' lives. And there are many favorable aspects as well. The main benefit of sport is that it may help to brain of students. To be more precise, students can be wiser, and more clever by means of sport. In doing so, sport can act the children as an incentive during thier studying. For example, by doing sport they can feel themselves in relax, and it may be the reason of their quickness, and they can be open-minded. In my view, it is important to learn sport, and to do it. In conclusion, sport certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.
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People
's opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
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sport
in
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schools
is a wasted effort. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments against having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and this is a crucial part of education, I
still
believe that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and resources.
Firstly
, there is evidence to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
totally
unnecessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
during the lessons.
Moreover
, if they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, they may not catch up with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hometasks
,
as a result
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it should not
be learned
, and should not be mandatory to study or to do it.
In addition
to it, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful activities which are more helpful
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. As an illustration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn foreign languages, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
from math.
Finally
, it is
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do it.
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Children
may lose much
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time
of theirs, as a consequence.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above arguments, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
plays a crucial role in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. And there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
favorable aspects
as well
. The main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is that it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to brain of students. To be more precise, students can be wiser, and more clever by means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can act the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as an incentive during
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
studying.
For example
, by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
they can feel themselves in relax, and it may be the reason of their quickness, and they can be open-minded. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, and to do it.

In conclusion
,
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sport
certainly
has its drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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