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Some people feel that entertainers (Eg: Films stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid.?

Some people feel that entertainers (Eg: Films stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid. ? p869
It is often said that people who are celebrities will always have a huge income but actually they deserve it, so I disagree with the statement who says their payment is too high. Also, there are many jobs which demand high wages. It is undeniable that the celebrities who take the risk towards their career is too much and according to their performance they must be treated well. Another key thing is to remember is that our nation will be proud by them, if their performance is unexpectedly popular among countries. There is an ample evidence to suggest that A R Rahman is one of the popular music directors in India who received Oskar award in 2016 for a song. Furthermore, when we go through his life, one thing is guaranteed that he has spent almost 10 years to become a top musician and the efforts that has been taken is marvelous. India is also be proud by his award. Celebrities like his must be paid huge money. However, technological experts, professors, soldiers, doctors, engineers and scientists are must be paid a high salary as their work toward the society is appreciated. In other words, they spend their whole life for the well being for the people. Numerous studies have consistently found that without the right tutors, there must be a big collapse in the education industry as educators are the primary key for the development of a nation. So, they must be treated and paid well. To conclude, entertainers are normally paid vast amount of money and it is normal in all over the world as they face many risk in their industry meanwhile there are numerous jobs that need skills and where it is demanded, huge money should be paid.
It is
often
said that
people
who
are celebrities will always have a huge income
but
actually they deserve it,
so
I disagree with the statement
who
says their payment is too high.
Also
, there are
many
jobs which demand high wages.

It is undeniable that the celebrities
who
take the
risk
towards their career is too much and according to their performance they
must
be treated
well. Another key thing is to remember is that our nation will be proud by them, if their performance is
unexpectedly
popular among countries. There is an ample evidence to suggest that A R Rahman is one of the popular music directors in India
who
received Oskar
award
in 2016 for a song.
Furthermore
, when we go through his life, one thing
is guaranteed
that he has spent almost 10 years to become a top musician and the efforts that has
been taken
is marvelous. India is
also
be
proud by his award. Celebrities like his
must
be
paid
huge money.

However
, technological experts, professors, soldiers, doctors, engineers and scientists are
must
be
paid
a high salary as their work toward the society
is appreciated
.
In other words
, they spend their whole life for the
well being
for the
people
. Numerous studies have
consistently
found that without the right tutors, there
must
be a
big
collapse in the education industry as educators are the primary key for the development of a nation.
So
, they
must
be treated
and
paid
well.

To conclude
, entertainers are
normally
paid
vast amount of money and it is normal in all over the world as they face
many
risk
in their industry meanwhile there are numerous jobs that need
skills
and where it
is demanded
, huge money should be
paid
.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers (Eg: Films stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid. ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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