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As Countries have develop there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. - Why does this happen? - How does this affect society?

As Countries have develop there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. - Why does this happen? - How does this affect society? qyed
Nowadays populations are goes downtrend in recent decades. People are preferring nuclear family instead of huge family. There are so many reasons for this, like people go to abroad for telephonic salaries and because of that countries monopoly goes down. So the reasons for preferring small families and their affects to the society will discuss in this essay. Firstly the cost of living in huge family is very high rather than small families. Because their only one person who earn for their whole family, so that person has to bear the financial burden. Secondly the main reason is that people have to settle in other country for the high salaries of also for the better lifestyle. Today’s generation leave their country for pursuing higher education. So family became smaller. Secondly government spread awareness for the small families. Because of that awareness parents will give their care and love to their child. Also give them a bright future and fulfill their needs. If they have big family then they can’t give equal attention to all of them. It is affect the society in many ways. Parents go abroad for their child’s better future then those both have to earn and because of that child will alone at home for long time. So it is possibility that crime will increase. It is also affect the aged people. They live alone in the house so they feel loneliness. It increase number of old age home, so government has liabilities. It is also affect to the countries monopoly. To sum up, mainly the reason is that they go abroad for high salaries and better future. It is affected the society in positive and negative both way.
Nowadays populations are goes downtrend in recent decades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "go abroad"?
go to abroad
for telephonic salaries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
monopoly goes down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for preferring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
to the society will discuss in this essay.

Firstly
the cost of living in huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person who earn for their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
bear the financial burden.
Secondly
the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
settle in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for the high salaries of
also
for the better lifestyle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for pursuing higher education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
became smaller.

Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spread awareness for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that awareness parents will give their care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to their child.
Also
give them a bright future and fulfill their needs. If they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
then they can’t give equal attention to all of them.

It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Parents go abroad for their child’s better future then those both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that child will alone at home for long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is possibility that crime will increase. It is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "affected".
affect
the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel loneliness. It
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has liabilities. It is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "affected".
affect
to the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
monopoly.

To sum up,
mainly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they go abroad for high salaries and better future. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
both way.
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IELTS essay As Countries have develop there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. - Why does this happen? - How does this affect society?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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