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some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life why fo you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v.1

some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life why fo you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 1
In this Neoteric epoch, a myriad of Denizens abortive at the school days. However, eventually, they succeed in life. This essay will depict the background, along with the most crucial precursor, concomitantly. First of all, ridicule from friends and got some motivations are the primary reasons why these people crave to evolve. When their fellows mock them, they ought to vengeance. Therefore, they work hard to prove that they are unwavering. Thus, the fruits that they assembled are the victory and some money. Thereupon, the motivational speech can make people realize that life is not always stable, and enticing them to be creative and diligent because these are the most vital point to succeed. Moreover, endeavour trait is the most influential why the commoners become successful. When some residents never forfeit, although they have experienced plenty of defeat, they surely will reach the summit. Because when they keep moving forward, there will be a plethora of chances that inflicted. Furthermore, although some people fancy to avoid a risky determination, taking this judgment is not a pernicious idea because it is an undeniable fact that there are plenty of successful men that were born with this determination. Growing the reading habit is also vital for being a success. By reading a book, the cognizance that people have is aggrandizing because most of the cognizance is discovered in a book. In conclusion, irrespective of their negligence during school, when they keep endeavour and revenge the ridicule, it is not impossible to be successful people.
In this Neoteric epoch, a myriad of Denizens abortive at the school days.
However
,
eventually
, they succeed in life. This essay will depict the background, along with the most crucial precursor,
concomitantly
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, ridicule from friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivations are the primary reasons why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
crave to evolve. When their fellows mock them, they ought to vengeance.
Therefore
, they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to prove that they are unwavering.
Thus
, the fruits that they assembled are the victory and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money. Thereupon, the motivational speech can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize that life is not always stable, and enticing them to be creative and diligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are the most vital point to succeed.

Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
trait is the most influential why the commoners become successful. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
residents never forfeit, although they have experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of defeat, they
surely
will reach the summit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving forward, there will be a plethora of chances that inflicted.
Furthermore
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fancy to avoid a risky determination, taking this judgment is not a pernicious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is an undeniable fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
that
were born
with this determination. Growing the reading habit is
also
vital for being a success. By reading a book, the cognizance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have is aggrandizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the cognizance
is discovered
in a book.

In conclusion
, irrespective of their negligence during school, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
and revenge the ridicule, it is not impossible to be successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life why fo you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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