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Should young people follow the older people’s examples or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both the views and give your. v.1

Should young people follow the older people’s examples or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1
Individuals divide on the prospect that youth should follow elderly people’s views. Some groups argue that welcoming the attitude of senior people is rewarding as they had an experience in all the fields, but others say that challenging the outlook of aged people can sometimes help them to discover the new things. In my view, youngsters have the right to make their own decisions, but they should be guided by their parents. On one hand, todays, the level of young peoples’ education level is for more than elderly people like their parents. This means, youth have more aware of the latest events, invention and new topics which are beneficial for them. Also, they know or capable to find what is trendy and what is not. However, as a result of the lack maturity, they face rash decisions. In addition, university research has shown that the majority of new generations tends to discover new approaches by challenging the old traditions and innovate new things. This the reason why encouraging young minds will lead to finding simple and easy ways to solve specific problems Furthermore, some people may say that older people are going to assist the young adults. Since, they were skilled and experienced in various fields and had already tried to do all the methods. However, in some cases the problems are unknown for youngsters and they do not address the problems. Besides, maybe their solution’s lead to worse without knowing the full knowledge. It can be illustrated by an example in industries skilled workers play tremendous role and permitted to take the decisions has they know because they have methods to mitigate problems or to avoid an unexpected event that can occur over there. Therefore, young people should follow them until having suitable knowledge. In conclusion, even though elder people have experienced, it is better for youngster to follow the positive way of living shown by elders and should challenge their aspect.
Individuals divide on the prospect that youth should follow elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
views.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
groups argue that welcoming the attitude of senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is rewarding as they had an experience in all the fields,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others say that challenging the outlook of aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to discover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. In my view, youngsters have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
be guided
by their parents.

On one hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
education level is for more than elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like their parents. This means, youth have more aware of the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, invention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
topics which are beneficial for them.
Also
, they know or capable to find what is trendy and what is not.
However
,
as a result
of the lack maturity, they face rash decisions.
In addition
, university research has shown that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generations tends to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
approaches by challenging the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions and innovate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. This the reason why encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds will lead to finding simple and easy ways to solve specific
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems


Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may say that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going to assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults. Since, they
were skilled
and experienced in various fields and had already tried to do all the methods.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases the problems are unknown for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngsters and
they do not address the problems.
Besides
, maybe their solution’s lead to worse without knowing the full knowledge. It can
be illustrated
by an example in industries skilled workers play tremendous role and permitted to take the decisions has they know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have methods to mitigate problems or to avoid an unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that can occur over there.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow them until having suitable knowledge.

In conclusion
,
even though
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have experienced, it is better for youngster to follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way of living shown by elders and should challenge their aspect.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Should young people follow the older people’s examples or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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