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Some people encourage changes, arguing that it is a good thing; others, however, do not find themselves agreeing with the notion of changes so much.

Some people encourage changes, arguing that it is a good thing; others, however, do not find themselves agreeing with the notion of changes so much. aEGpV
Some people encourage changes, arguing that it is a good thing; others, however, do not find themselves agreeing with the notion of changes so much. They favored a monotonous lifestyle that comes with stability. While it sounds more appealing to people because we’re used to the same lifestyle and changes mean instability and chaos, I argue that people should embrace the idea of changes as it allows us to have a more exciting life and broaden our horizon. Firstly, some people hate changes because it will take them perhaps a large amount of time and energy to adapt into a new lifestyle that they’re originally not familiar with and one that they probably might not like so much. For example, a friend of mine from Huntsville, Alabama once spoke to me about the immigration reforms in the USA and mentioned how people in the community strongly opposed the bill because it would mean that they’re no longer able to enjoy the same lifestyle, the lifestyle of middle class white families, for example going to Church on Sunday and perhaps watch football at night. With the influx of perhaps Mexican immigrants, they have to start learning Mexican cultures and therefore are not able to have the same life as before. Therefore, almost all the people he knew are not in favor of this immigration reform because they’re afraid of changes and fearful of differences. However, we should not ignore the benefits of changes as it will broaden our horizon and perhaps make our lives better. Without innovative inventions, human beings wouldn’t be able to enjoy a higher standard of life. Originally, I wasn’t interested in studying abroad because I’m not an avid or a good English speaker or reader, and reading is a very important part in university education as students will have to do a lot of reading. However, things started to change when I had the pleasure to visit Oxford and Cambridge a couple years ago. I was especially attracted by the ancient buildings of Oxford colleges, namely Balliol college and Christ Church. It was the eureka moment I decided to study abroad as an undergraduate and there has been no looking back since high school. I started to read English literature, philosophy, political theory and economics as I’m mostly interested in the course module of Philosophy, Politics and Economics, which allows me eventually to have a better understanding of the interactions between these subjects and in the meantime broaden my knowledge base. These subjects questioned me about lots of things that we thought were norms but in fact are not, and helped me a lot with my critical thinking and problem solving skills. Although I did not get into Oxford eventually, I’m certain that without this travel, I would end up an avid gamer and not a thinker and having a boring career. I argue that change allows us to enjoy different things and lead a more fascinating life. To summarize, although some people appreciate the benefits of stability and uniform lifestyle, I argue that changes can lead us into a thrilling adventure and think about things from different aspects. Therefore, I prefer changes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, arguing that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing; others,
however
, do not find themselves agreeing with the notion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much. They favored a monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with stability. While it sounds more appealing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we’re
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
mean instability and chaos, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should embrace the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to have a more exciting life and broaden our horizon.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will take them perhaps a large amount of time and energy to adapt into a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
that they’re
originally
not familiar with and one that they
probably
might not like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
For example
, a friend of mine from Huntsville, Alabama once spoke to me about the immigration reforms in the USA and mentioned how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the community
strongly
opposed the bill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would mean that they’re no longer able to enjoy the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
white families,
for example
going to Church on Sunday and perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
football at night. With the influx of perhaps Mexican immigrants, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning Mexican cultures and
therefore
are not able to have the same life as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Therefore
, almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
he knew are not in favor of this immigration reform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they’re afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and fearful of differences.

However
, we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as it will broaden our horizon and perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better. Without innovative inventions, human beings wouldn’t be able to enjoy a higher standard of life.
Originally
, I wasn’t interested in studying abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m not an avid or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
English speaker or reader, and reading is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in university education as students will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reading.
However
, things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
when I had the pleasure to visit Oxford and Cambridge a
Did you mean "couple of"? (In formal written English 'of' should follow 'couple'.)
couple
years ago. I was
especially
attracted by the ancient buildings of Oxford colleges,
namely
Possible spelling mistake found.
Balliol
college and Christ Church. It was the eureka moment I decided to study abroad as an undergraduate and there has been no looking back since high school. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to read English literature, philosophy, political theory and economics as I’m
mostly
interested in the course module of Philosophy, Politics and Economics, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me
eventually
to have a better understanding of the interactions between these subjects and in the meantime broaden my knowledge base. These subjects questioned me about lots of things that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
were norms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact are not, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me a lot with my critical thinking and problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Although I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into Oxford
eventually
, I’m certain that without this travel, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up an avid gamer and not a thinker and having a boring career. I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and lead a more fascinating life.

To summarize
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate the benefits of stability and uniform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
can lead us into a thrilling adventure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
Therefore
, I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
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IELTS essay Some people encourage changes, arguing that it is a good thing; others, however, do not find themselves agreeing with the notion of changes so much.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
526 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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