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IELTS Writing Task 2 - Media

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Media XVW0q
With the rapidly increasing accessibility to media, It is argued that the violence on television or in computer games will encourage violence in daily life and incite people to behave more aggressively, eventually leading to a less peaceful society. Others do not entirely agree with the statement though, arguing that these elements have minimal effect on the growing violence in the society. In this essay, I will argue that the media has a rather smaller impact on society and effect on human development. To do so, I will first argue that while it does make sense that violent people tend to play violent games, the reverse is not the case since violence is a human characteristic and needs to develop through more impactful events instead of the media. Secondly, I will argue that computer games or television actually reduces the cases of violent behaviors since people can express and relax themselves while playing games and therefore will not resort to extreme methods when facing a series of setbacks. Firstly, some experts suggested that violence tends to be triggered by frustration, depression or setbacks instead of the media. While there are many cases where people who play video games commit a series of killings, we cannot therefore conclude that video games or the media encourages crimes. There is a very weak causal connection between the media and violence as media is less impactful on our human development than our upbringing. A friend of mine spent almost 8 hours on Player Unknown Battleground per day but he’s actually an amiable person in real life and few can actually tell that he is an avid game player if he didn’t tell them at the first stance. Therefore, it can be argued that violence is less likely to be triggered by the media than one’s growing environment. Secondly, I argue that with the development of video games and invention of virtual reality, there will be less violence in the society and therefore fewer violent crimes as people with violent motives express themselves or relax in the world of video games. If it is a lot more exciting to kill people in the game and win the champion prize, then people have very less incentive to actually act aggressively in real life. For example, scientific research shows that around ⅔ of testees reported feeling less violent once they became more addicted to video games as they’re able to escape from real-life frustrations or depressions. Therefore, I argue that violence in the media or video games have damaging effects on society. To conclude, I do not agree with the statement that video games or the media are the causes of violence because there is a very weak causal connection between violence and the media and of scientific research that demonstrates the effectiveness of violent video games in reducing the crime rate and violence in a person. Therefore, I argue that video games are less likely to trigger violence on human beings.
With the
rapidly
increasing accessibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, It
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on television or in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in daily life and incite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to behave more
aggressively
,
eventually
leading to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Others do not
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement though, arguing that these elements have minimal effect on the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In this essay, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a
rather
smaller impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
development. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I will
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that while it does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, the reverse is not the case since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
characteristic and needs to develop through more impactful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Secondly
, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or television actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
behaviors since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can express and relax themselves while playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
will not resort to extreme methods when facing a series of setbacks.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
tends to
be triggered
by frustration, depression or setbacks
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
commit a series of killings, we cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
encourages crimes. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
weak causal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
impactful on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
development than our upbringing. A friend of mine spent almost 8 hours on Player Unknown Battleground per day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he’s actually an amiable person in real life and few can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that he is an avid game player if he didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them at the
first
stance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it can
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to
be triggered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
than one’s growing environment.

Secondly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and invention of virtual reality, there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
crimes as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
motives express themselves or relax in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. If it is a lot more exciting to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the game and win the champion prize, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
incentive to actually act
aggressively
in real life.
For example
, scientific research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that around ⅔ of
Possible spelling mistake found.
testees
reported feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
once they became more addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as
Did you mean "their"?
they’re
able to escape from real-life frustrations or depressions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have damaging effects on society.

To conclude
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
weak causal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and of scientific research that demonstrates the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in reducing the crime rate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in a person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
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IELTS essay IELTS Writing Task 2 - Media

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
495 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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