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some people continue to work on a paticula field throughout their life , where some change

some people continue to work on a paticula field throughout their life, where some change PMAod
In the past several decades, private companies and other government sectors have enhanced theirs job opportunities for new aspirants. But every individual has their own opinion regarding continuing their working over a particular organisation. Some think of continuing working throughout their entire life over the same organisation, where other individuals change their workplace to escalate their work experience after a certain period. Considering government jobs, where most of the employees continue working for their entire life and not changing their work field, there are several reasons for taking this decision, due to the good facilities provided for instance, free medical treatments, good transportation facilities. Where transportation facilities are significantly necessary for the employees as they are on time for their job. On the other hand, some government sectors, such as government schools and colleges where faculties are having less work throughout the day and do not have to bother much. Meanwhile, government employees do not have to do overtime for some extra payments. However, not changing their work field, they continue working for their whole life. Nevertheless, employees in private companies try to work for a certain period on a particular company and change to a better one according to their upgrading experience. As they need to enhance their skills further, moreover they have the opportunity to earn more. However, few individuals over private companies consider changing their career over government sectors and continue working throughout their life and changing further due to the good facilities. In my opinion, upgrading the work field after a certain period is significantly necessary to enhance their skills further and get the opportunity to earn more based on their performance. It does not matter if it is a government job of a private company, one should consider upgrading their work field after a certain period. In conclusion, some people find themselves continuing working in a particular field due to the good facilities provided. In contrast, some find it essential to change their work field after a specific time to upgrade themselves and to earn more money.
In the past several decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sectors have enhanced theirs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for new aspirants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
every individual has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion regarding continuing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a particular
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of continuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
throughout their entire life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, where other individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their workplace to escalate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
period.

Considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, where most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for their entire life and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, there are several reasons for taking this decision, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities provided
for instance
, free medical treatments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
transportation facilities. Where transportation facilities are
significantly
necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as they are on time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sectors, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
schools and colleges where faculties are having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
throughout the day and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bother much. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do overtime for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra payments.
However
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, they continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for their whole life.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
period on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to a better one according to their upgrading experience. As they need to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
further
,
moreover
they have the opportunity to earn more.
However
, few individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sectors and continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
throughout their life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
further
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities.

In my opinion, upgrading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
period is
significantly
necessary to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
further
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to earn more based on their performance. It does not matter if it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, one should consider upgrading their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
period.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find themselves continuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities provided.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
find it essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
after a specific time to upgrade themselves and to earn more money.
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IELTS essay some people continue to work on a paticula field throughout their life, where some change

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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