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Some people claim that not enough of waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste? v.2

Some people claim that not enough of waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. v. 2
People state that the trash produced by homes is not totally recycled. Some believe, the governments should create a law for recycling, which would be the unique way to raise it. This essay agrees with the statement, because when recycling became an obligation everyone must do it and the garbage bring a variety of health problems. While some people know that recycling in homes is really important, others think that government should do something or they do not have responsibility. But when laws are created and punishment for who does not follow that law are applicable, recycling will be a habit and everyone would make it easy. For example in my city São Paulo there is a banning for someone that put residue on the street, it seems to be obvious. However, if it was not a ban, the streets were full of garbage. The health problems caused by residue have been drastically increasing every single day. Although neither all people have this information that some disease came from it. In terms of disease is always much better to prevent than to treat. As a result if more people become sick, it will be a waste of money for government and for citizens totally unnecessary. Furthermore the new laws might help people save more money instead of buying medicines with that. In conclusion, the governments should encourage people to recycle in their homes, creating new laws, in order to help everyone to change their habits and understand that recycling is an obligation. Consequently, the health problems would reduce and also wasting of money with treatments. ]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
state that the trash produced by homes is not
totally
recycled.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
, which would be the unique way to raise it. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
became an obligation everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do it and the garbage bring a variety of health problems.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
in homes is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should do
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
something or
they do not have responsibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are created
and punishment for who does not follow that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
are applicable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
will be a habit and everyone would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy.
For example
in my city São Paulo there is a banning for someone that put residue on the street, it seems to be obvious.
However
, if it was not a ban, the streets were full of garbage.

The health problems caused by residue have been
drastically
increasing every single day.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
neither all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this information that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disease came from it. In terms of disease is always much better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
than to treat.
As a result
if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become sick, it will be a waste of money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and for citizens
totally
unnecessary.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save more money
instead
of buying medicines with that.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recycle in their homes, creating new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habits and understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
is an obligation.
Consequently
, the health problems would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and
also
wasting of money with treatments.

Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
]
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that not enough of waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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