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Some people claim that aim of education make to be convenient members of our society. While other think main purpose of attain personal ambitions. This essy both sides as well as I would like to give my own prospectives.

Some people claim that aim of education make to be convenient members of our society. While other think main purpose of attain personal ambitions. This essy both sides as well as I would like to give my own prospectives. LbGX8
There are many reasons that education really ought to prepare to become members of society. Because people think education which developing their social awareness and make better community. On the other hand, graduates are believed as the social agents that add the society and government in terms of making society based policy. Educated people always want to help society and conducting negotiations and against the bad policy. On the others think that it's ultimately aim of having certain skills and experience as the main give achieve a good position in the job market, which bring them more prosperous life conditions and also want to famous any uneducated persons as well as gain personal purpose because it their personal rights. I believe that both purpose of people. Which they have their own merits. We can be valuable persons for the society while getting a job that allocate some money from our salaryto educate people by providing the fund and if we get higher, the more money we can donate. The most important thinkis how to save ourselves by having permanent job while contributing our skills for prosperity. The value of education should not be kept only among ourselves but ought to be spent for the society.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that education
really
ought to prepare to become members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
education which developing their social awareness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better community.
On the other hand
, graduates
are believed
as the social agents that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in terms of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
based policy. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and conducting negotiations and against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
policy.

On the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's
ultimately
Consider using a past participle here: "aimed".
aim
of having certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience as the main give achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in the job market, which bring them more prosperous life conditions and
also
want to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
any uneducated persons
as well
as gain personal purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it their personal rights.

I believe that both purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. We can be valuable persons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while getting a job that allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money from our
Possible spelling mistake found.
salaryto
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing the fund and if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher, the more money we can donate.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
thinkis
how to save ourselves by having permanent job while contributing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for prosperity. The value of education should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
among ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ought to
be spent
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that aim of education make to be convenient members of our society. While other think main purpose of attain personal ambitions. This essy both sides as well as I would like to give my own prospectives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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