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should live together with their children and grandchildren

should live together with their children and grandchildren AwPqM
Who are grandparents? They are impersonation of wise, smart and they are parents of parents. Some grandparents help their children during all life by giving money, home etc. But they might ask is it okay to live with your grandchildren and children. I believe that it is weird to live with your grandparent. Firstly, I think that adult people should have freedom. They are smart, they have a lot of experience. So in my opinion, one adult personality shouldn’t influence to another especially if they are grandparents For other hand, needn’t to forget that they are cousins. They as well have one blood so they can help each other. You need to help your cousins, in particular, your kid or parent. Yes, I think that grandparent/grandchild can put up with each other. However i don’t think that different adult personalities can live together. Imagine that adult man addicts to his (-grand)parent. It is wrong so I believe that elderly and adult people should live independently.
Who are grandparents? They are impersonation of wise,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smart and
they are parents of parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their children during all life by giving money, home etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they might ask is it okay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with your grandchildren and children. I believe that it is weird to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with your grandparent.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have freedom. They are smart, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion, one adult personality shouldn’t influence to another
especially
if they are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
grandparents


For other hand, needn’t
Did you mean "forget"?
to forget
that they are cousins. They
as well
have one blood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other. You need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
your cousins,
in particular
, your kid or parent.

Yes, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that grandparent/grandchild can put up with each other.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
adult personalities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together. Imagine that adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
addicts to his (-grand)parent. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe that elderly and adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
.
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IELTS essay should live together with their children and grandchildren

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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