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Some people bilive that Taliban are good for development

Some people bilive that Taliban are good for development K3ePR
Taliban had a government on Afghanistan before 2000 year. Now Taliban again collabad on Kabul. Some people believe that this government is good for development. In my lense it's not enough for going above. However they have knowledge problems, training issues. And, that also have some good points. Firstly, I must point that Taliban are not graduated. Secondly, they don't know how to control the protests, how to control the people. They are not trained for this kind of problams. There was a protest in Kabul from some wives. The agenda was to leave the panjsheer Provence on there satution. So, they didn't know how to control it. Then they hited them. Although, if they will tran it she'll take enough time. How far, Taliban also have some pleaser points. At previous government someone could not talk to someone else at outside from home. The thief's was grabbing the phone. My brother had lost three of his phons like this. Even police could not capcher them. Because, were paying 20000$ per week to the government for these robberies. Taliban controlled all these issues. it's secure now to talk to anyone anywhere. From one side, it's secure. By another hand, there is no work. Everyone is jobless. If someone have job they aren't paying them. there are a lot of economical problems. Also medical system is dead. As a result, Taliban has collabad on Afghanistan. But, there are some issus such as knowledge, training. Which is not received by there army. Taliban controlled some burglaries. And also they have lots of ecnomical problems
Taliban had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on Afghanistan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2000 year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Taliban again
Possible spelling mistake found.
collabad
on Kabul.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for development. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
lense
it's not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for going above.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
they have knowledge problems, training issues. And, that
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
point that Taliban are not graduated.
Secondly
, they don't know how to control the protests, how to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They are not trained for this kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
problams
. There was a protest in Kabul from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wives. The agenda was to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
panjsheer
Provence on there
Possible spelling mistake found.
satution
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they didn't know how to control it. Then they
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "hit", the past tense form of the verb 'hit'?
hited
them. Although, if they will
Possible spelling mistake found.
tran
it she'll take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time.

How far, Taliban
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pleaser points. At previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
someone could not talk to someone else at outside from home. The thief's was grabbing the phone. My brother had lost three of his
Possible spelling mistake found.
phons
like this. Even police could not
Possible spelling mistake found.
capcher
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, were paying
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$20000".
20000$
per week to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for these robberies. Taliban controlled all these issues.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
's secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to talk to anyone anywhere.

From one side, it's secure. By another hand, there is no work. Everyone is jobless.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "jobbed".
job
they aren't paying them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
problems.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
medical system is dead.

As a result
, Taliban has
Possible spelling mistake found.
collabad
on Afghanistan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
issus
such as knowledge, training.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is not received by
Did you mean "their"?
there
army. Taliban controlled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
burglaries. And
also
they have lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecnomical
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems
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IELTS essay Some people bilive that Taliban are good for development

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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