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Some people belive the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people belive the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. MMBYq
I would like to say Education is most important for living better and presentable life. It is helpful. for individuals to achieve their ambitions and also to the society. Well education makes huge different in peoples life. First, Education is benefit for society to have skilled workers, improving their knowledge in the field which they get help for community of their town or country. They can help by contributing to the stability of society. people try to focus on good suggestion for social awareness as they want's to bring their society in better life style. for example, who are expertise in electrical engeeniar they can help the society to aware when there is any dangerous for electric as specially in rain season, Moreover they can control over policy that harms people. Educated people are increasing economic for the society by contributing their skills and also when other people's needs. As well as build good economy for nation. Secondly, they want to fulfill their desire in life, good frame in the public, reaching to ultimate aim that achieving well position in the business or at work place. Education is main strat for to gaining people's ambition. For example, Great education with good skills will make proper worker for a company well if company having this kind of staff make better benefit from them and it is good for country to build well known frame as well as financial statement also increase, will help to the works family and to fulfill own desire for upgrading better lifestyle. moreover, I belive that education is helping the both view people like they are great achivers as well as they can work to words of ambition which is make them good people in the own home and society. One educate person can help to educate few people in their town or society by donating salaries and knowledge they have in their field. Infact I would like to say school, university and diploma having they are view and skill workers. That is make better help to society and fulfill people's ambitions.
I would like to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and presentable life. It is helpful.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
individuals to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitions
and
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
life.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to have skilled workers, improving their knowledge in the field which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for community of their town or country. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
by contributing to the stability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
try to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
suggestion for social awareness as they
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "wants"?
want's
to bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life style.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, who are expertise in electrical
Possible spelling mistake found.
engeeniar
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to aware when there is any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for electric as
specially
in rain season,
Moreover
they can control over policy that harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are increasing economic for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by contributing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
also
when other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
economy for nation.

Secondly
, they want to fulfill their desire in life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
frame in the public, reaching to ultimate aim that achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
position in the business or at work place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is main
Possible spelling mistake found.
strat
for to gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
.
For example
, Great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
proper worker for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
having this kind of staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
benefit from them and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for country to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
known frame as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as financial statement
also
increase, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the works family and to fulfill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desire for upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is helping the both view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like they are great
Possible spelling mistake found.
achivers
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as they can work to words of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. One educate person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to educate few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their town or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by donating salaries and knowledge they have in their field.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
I would like to say school, university and diploma having they are view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
workers.
That is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and fulfill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitions
.
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IELTS essay Some people belive the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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