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some people belive that renewable energy sources are the answer to the peoblem of environmental pollution. What is your opinion on this statement?

some people belive that renewable energy sources are the answer to the peoblem of environmental pollution. What is your opinion on this statement? 0B0pO
Some people consider that renewable energy is use by human is the result of proccesing environmental negative changing, specially pollution and in my opinion, I see that this statement is not entirely correct because it’s wrong in another side. Actually, people’need for technology and moderlization are more and more developing strongly. We always want to get the best things in order to serve our life by one way the most comportable and usefull from public transport to housing and other infrastructure, all of them have been displaced by more moder ones over the centuries. So, is’s unsurprise when renewable energy as wind, water, solar enerhy are born with limitless human curiosity and exploration that mean renewable energy stem from human’s wish and need. That is reason why i unaccept completely about the problem of renewable energy comes from environmental pollution. To understand this, i have some outstanding achievements from real world like when people have to waste a large amount of money every years for transport fuel, Scientists have created solar-powered cars or water-powered motorcycles to save costs or Water heaters are created to serve people in the winter, which avoids the danger of electric leakage like old appliances or electricity network we are using that help us know more about the outside world is made from water power. On the other hand, people take advantage the natural energy réources to regenerate, partly is due to envirnmental pollution when people overuse natural resources like…. . for production activities and vehicles. This had threatening people’life seriously and clear demonstration for this. Firstly, this is nature's anger on human’s exist, animals and plants such as floods and droughts caused by the dozen of smog or waste emisson everyday. For example, the largest leak in history at sea in the United States, In addition the different problems like Greenhouse effect, ozone depletion also are negative affecting of pollution. Secondly, ecosystems and resources, minerals are exploited thoroughly and wastefully by humans, causing ecological imbalance. In conclusion, from the above consequences, the creation of available energy to apply to life and production is an optimal way to ensure the safety of life on earth. Althought the price for renewable energy devices are too luxury, we undeniably the benefits and success that it brings to the world economy, is an opportunity to expand occupations and the number of workers as well as to promote amelioration of resource depletion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is the result of
Possible spelling mistake found.
proccesing
environmental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
changing,
specially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this statement is not
entirely
correct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in another side.

Actually,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’need for technology and
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderlization
are more and more developing
strongly
. We always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best things in order to serve our life by one way the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
comportable
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
from public transport to housing and other infrastructure, all of them have
been displaced
by more
Possible spelling mistake found.
moder
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
over the centuries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, is’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsurprise
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
as wind, water, solar
Possible spelling mistake found.
enerhy
are born
with limitless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
curiosity and exploration that mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
stem from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
wish and need.
That is
reason why i
Possible spelling mistake found.
unaccept
completely about the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. To understand this,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outstanding achievements from real world like when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste a large amount of money every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
for transport fuel, Scientists have created solar-powered cars or water-powered motorcycles to save costs or Water heaters
are created
to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the winter, which avoids the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of electric leakage like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
appliances or electricity network we are using that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us know more about the outside world
is made
from water power.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take advantage the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Possible spelling mistake found.
réources
to regenerate, partly is due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
envirnmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overuse natural resources like….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
production activities and vehicles. This had threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’life
seriously
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
demonstration for this.
Firstly
, this is nature's anger on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
exist, animals and plants such as floods and droughts caused by the dozen of smog or waste
Possible spelling mistake found.
emisson
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
For example
, the largest leak in history at sea in the United States,
In addition
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems like Greenhouse effect, ozone depletion
also
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affecting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Secondly
, ecosystems and resources, minerals
are exploited
thoroughly
and
wastefully
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, causing ecological imbalance.

In conclusion
, from the above consequences, the creation of available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to apply to life and production is an optimal way to ensure the safety of life on earth.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althought
the price for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
devices are too luxury, we
undeniably
the benefits and success that it brings to the world economy, is an opportunity to expand occupations and the number of workers
as well
as to promote amelioration of resource depletion.
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IELTS essay some people belive that renewable energy sources are the answer to the peoblem of environmental pollution. What is your opinion on this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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