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Some people believe working in a team and communicating over the internet is more sufficient rather than meeting in an office.

Some people believe working in a team and communicating over the internet is more sufficient rather than meeting in an office. G2jm
Humans are social animals. they had to live and work together to satisfy their demands. Nowadays, new methods to communicate and work collaboratively has changed. Some people believe working in a team and communicating over the internet is more sufficient rather than meeting in an office. Personally, I firmly think using the internet for communication with co-worker is more advantageous, in comparison to appointments in an office. I feel this way for two chief reasons which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, in face to face conversation numerous people are not able to express their opinions. They have sorts of obligations, for example, being shy or fear of speaking in public; in addition, others need to think deliberately to response appropriately. My personal experiences indicate that E-mail and online meetings are more convenient than being in an office. For instance, we have a report system in which we ask our employees to report their activities weekly. We receive their reports and, consequently, we should make a meeting to resolve their lacks in their reports. However, now, we receive the reports online and we declare our comments on them, immediately. It saves tremendous time for both teams, furthermore, it reduces conflicts in final reports. Second, meetings are time-consuming and take a huge amount of time. To be more specific, staff have to waste their time for example, in the gridlocks to be ready at the office, on the contrary by email and online sessions they easily are in touch from anywhere they want. For instance, my colleague's wife is a doctor who works in a far away city. My co-worker had to commute these spans of distance every weekend, as a result he was tired and bored in the team; however, since he works remotely, thanks to the internet and online communication, he is ready for all sessions energetically. In conclusion, I strongly support online working in a group rather than physical connection between employees for an array of reasons, among which the convenience and time-efficiency are more essential.
Humans are social animals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together to satisfy their demands. Nowadays, new methods to communicate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
collaboratively
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe working in a team and communicating over the internet is more sufficient
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
Personally
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using the internet for communication with co-worker is more advantageous,
in comparison
to appointments in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
. I feel this way for two chief reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in face to face conversation numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to express their opinions. They have sorts of obligations,
for example
, being shy or fear of speaking in public;
in addition
, others need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deliberately
to response
appropriately
. My personal experiences indicate that E-mail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are more convenient than being in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
For instance
, we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
system in which we ask our employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
their activities weekly. We receive their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
and,
consequently
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
to resolve their lacks in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
online and
we declare our comments on them, immediately. It saves tremendous time for both teams,
furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
conflicts in final reports.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are time-consuming and take a huge amount of time. To be more specific, staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste their time
for example
, in the gridlocks to be ready at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
,
on the contrary
by email and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sessions they
easily
are in touch from anywhere they want.
For instance
, my colleague's wife is a doctor who works in a far away city. My co-worker had to commute these spans of distance every weekend,
as a result
he
was tired
and bored in the team;
however
, since he works
remotely
, thanks to the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication, he is ready for all sessions
energetically
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
working in a group
rather
than physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
employees for an array of reasons, among which the convenience and time-efficiency are more essential.
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IELTS essay Some people believe working in a team and communicating over the internet is more sufficient rather than meeting in an office.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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