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Some people believe they should keep all the they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people believe they should keep all the they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. v. 1
In recent years, there has been a serious issue in the amount of pollution rising and the possible reason can be the forms of traffic. Some people believe that adjusting the price of gasoline is the most effective way to address the problems and I think that the number of actions should be taken by the government and individuals. To start with, the number of pollution problems leads to an adverse effect on the environment which resulted from various forms of transport. People may think the most useful way to reduce this problem is increasing the price of petrol. However, I completely disagree with this idea and firmly believe that there are many strategies that can be instead of increasing prices for fuels. One thing the government can do that is the number of private cars should be banned into the city centre during the peak hours and increasing parking lots' fee in downtown. Another thing they also can introduce that is improving public transport in order to attract citizens to take it or subsidising the fares on tickets. Apart from several measures are taken by the government, I deem that individuals could also take responsibility for the aim of solving a wide rage of issues. Firstly, people could take public transport instead of driving their own cars. A good instance of this strategy is that they can choose walking, cycling, or taking subways and bus to and for the destinations. Secondly, they could plant a variety of vegetation in the environment, which would reduce the amount of carbon footprint. Consequently, the problems of growing traffic and pollution would be improved by individuals' behaviours. In conclusion, combing the actions to address the pollution and traffic problem is the government and individuals' joint responsibility, and if all measures are taken promptly, the issue could be mitigated.
In recent years, there has been a serious issue in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
rising and the possible reason can be the forms of traffic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that adjusting the price of gasoline is the most effective way to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the number of actions should
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
leads to an adverse effect on the environment which resulted from various forms of transport.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most useful way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is increasing the price of petrol.
However
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
firmly
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strategies that can be
instead
of increasing prices for fuels. One thing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can do
that is
the number of private cars should
be banned
into the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
during the peak hours and increasing parking lots' fee in downtown. Another thing they
also
can introduce
that is
improving public transport in order to attract citizens to take it or
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
the fares on tickets.

Apart from several measures
are taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, I deem that individuals could
also
take responsibility for the aim of solving a wide rage of issues.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could take public transport
instead
of driving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
instance of this strategy is that they can choose walking, cycling, or taking subways and bus to and for the destinations.
Secondly
, they could plant a variety of vegetation in the environment, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of carbon footprint.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of growing traffic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by individuals'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

In conclusion
, combing the actions to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals' joint responsibility, and if all measures
are taken
promptly
, the issue could
be mitigated
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe they should keep all the they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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