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A family has a great influence on children's development, but the outsider of home plays a bigger role in it. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

A family has a great influence on children's development, but the outsider of home plays a bigger role in it. v. 1
Television channels and newspapers use images while covering a news story. Some people believe that pictures have more impact as compared to words. Most of the news, when accompanied by photographs have more impact and become more understandable by the public. This essay will elaborate more on the effect of picture in the news media followed by my opinion. Firstly, when a television channel airs a news report and does not use any pictures or visual aid to prove it, there are chances of it being considered as fake. People will doubt the credibility of the news being aired. So is the case with the newspapers. If they an publish an edition without pictures, public would not prefer reading it as it not effective just with words. Many a times, many editorials with visual content fail to attract readers or viewers even after covering report with detailed information. On the contrary, when a news story is accompanied by pictures, it attracts more viewers or readers. In fact, they understand the message or a story better. With suitable evidence in the form of pictures, people believe the news report being covered by a television channel or newspaper edition. For instance, newspapers prefer to publish readers' or citizens' complaints related to public facilities with photographs as they communicate effectively and many a times forced the authorities to take appropriate action. To conclude, I strongly believe that pictures speak more than words and must be used by different media to cover various stories.
Television channels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
images while covering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
have more impact as compared to words. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, when accompanied by photographs have more impact and become more understandable by the public. This essay will elaborate more on the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
media followed by my opinion.

Firstly
, when a television channel airs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
or visual aid to prove it, there are chances of it
being considered
as fake.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will doubt the credibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
being aired
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
is the case with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. If they
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Did you mean the noun "publishing"?
publish
an edition without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
, public would not prefer reading it as it not effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with words.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
editorials with visual content fail to attract readers or viewers even after covering report with detailed information.

On the contrary
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
is accompanied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
, it attracts more viewers or readers. In fact, they understand the message or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
better. With suitable evidence in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report
being covered
by a television channel or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
edition.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
prefer to publish readers' or citizens' complaints related to public facilities with photographs as they communicate
effectively
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
forced the authorities to take appropriate action.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
speak more than words and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
media to cover various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A family has a great influence on children's development, but the outsider of home plays a bigger role in it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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