Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe the prisoners should be given community services instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do u agree?

Some people believe the prisoners should be given community services instead of being put behind the bars. r80jm
The Criminal rate has been increasing worldwide. Some people support the opinion that prisoners should be given an alternative sentence such as community services than behind the bars. I'm in two minds about this matter, because the life sentence generally depends on the crimes that had been committed. In my point of view, the authorities should properly investigate and conclude with the criminal's punishments. Firstly, there are various crimes done by individuals, in that not every violation need to be put behind bars. The juvenile delinquent may have just slipped up and would have been led astray by someone to do crimes. These people would be benefited from community services because if they have been taken into custody, this could become a chance for them to be hardened criminal and as well as they may also become reoffended. So, the community services like helping the orphanages, working in welfare organizations, foster a shelter animal and so on. These could provide them with a great impact on their lives. Secondly, there are violent crimes namely, murders, rapes and genocide, these criminals should be given a prison sentence. This is because of prior planning of these crimes and done with their knowledge and desire, and for them, community services won't be an important tool to get rid of these criminal thoughts. Moreover, these wrongdoers should be given legal charges. For example, the known nirbhaya incident which took place in Delhi shook the entire nation, about 8 people including a minor sexually assaulted and slaughtered her in the moving bus. The outcomes which were given by the Supreme Court was not satisfactory to anyone in our country. Even though the rest of them were given execution, the young offender was given bail with a job in some secured place, but there was no assurance for him not to do the crime like this again. Besides being a minor, he was aware of the humiliation. Finally, the authorities and the government should properly enquire about the crime and propose appropriate files to the high courts. They should appropriately investigate the reason for the crime. If someone is given bail or probation, there should be justice. As a saying, ' good doer should not be given a prison sentence and a lawbreaker should not be left independent'. In conclusion, even though there exist plenty of crimes, it should be reasonable to interrogate and the results have to be produced. Depending upon the criminal act the prison sentence or community services should be decided because not every crime needs community services.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminal
rate has been increasing worldwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the opinion that prisoners should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
than behind the bars. I'm in two minds about this matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
generally
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that had
been committed
. In my point of view, the authorities should
properly
investigate and conclude with the criminal's punishments.

Firstly
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
done by individuals, in that not every violation need to
be put
behind bars. The juvenile delinquent may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
slipped up and would have
been led
astray by someone to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
be benefited
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they have
been taken
into custody, this could become a chance for them to
be hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
and
as well
as they may
also
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffended
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like helping the orphanages, working in welfare organizations, foster a shelter animal and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. These could provide them with a great impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Secondly
, there are violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
namely
, murders, rapes and genocide, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of prior planning of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and done with their knowledge and desire, and for them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
won't be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
thoughts.
Moreover
, these wrongdoers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
legal charges.
For example
, the known
Possible spelling mistake found.
nirbhaya
incident which took place in Delhi shook the entire nation, about 8
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
including a minor
sexually
assaulted and slaughtered her in the moving bus. The outcomes which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the Supreme Court was not satisfactory to anyone in our country.
Even though
the rest of them were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
execution, the young offender was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bail with a job in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secured place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was no assurance for him not to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like this again.
Besides
being a minor, he was aware of the humiliation.

Finally
, the authorities and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
properly
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and propose appropriate files to the high courts. They should
appropriately
investigate the reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. If someone is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bail or probation, there should be justice. As a saying,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doer should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
and a lawbreaker should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
independent'.

In conclusion
,
even though
there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, it should be reasonable to interrogate and the results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be produced
. Depending upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
act the prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be decided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe the prisoners should be given community services instead of being put behind the bars.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
425 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts