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There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smokers but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom of action. What are your views?

There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smokers but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom of action. What are your views? Kwk6R
It is widely acknowledged that cigarette smoke leads to certain health issues for both active smokers and passive ones. This essay holds the position of anti-smoking in communal places. Some people may argue that all humans have rights to pursue their desirable lifestyles as well as take responsibilities for any consequences. It means that they are free to lead their lives in a way that positively facilitates their emotion and sensibility. For example, a person might opt for smoking to reduce stress and to seek comfort when he/she encounters obstacles. Rights are always accompanied by obligations for the outcomes generated from the actions of citizens. It is admitted by many that smoking impairs physical health of both smokers and non-smokers. Regardless of health issues related to smoking habits, smokers are probably not resisting the temptation of cigarettes and continue living with it later. On the other hand, despite people’s freedom, many advocates support the idea of restricting smoking in public sites for the sake of society. Smoking also, leads to lung cancer for active smokers and for non-smokers it leads to respiratory problems due to the inhalation of smoke fumes. Therefore, patients must bear the medical expenses and long-term treatment for the cases, which could either be cured with considerable effort and money or cause fatal disease for the bearers. Furthermore, if people smoke in public spots, the youngsters are likely to imitate adults’ as it can be regarded as a stylish manner among their peers. It is thus vital to restrict smoking in any collective spaces to prevent harmful effects on humans. To conclude, although it cannot deny the importance of citizens’ freedom, we should put the whole society’s health in the first place by restricting public smoking as it would cause negative issues to humans.
It is
widely
acknowledged that cigarette smoke leads to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues for both active smokers and passive ones. This essay holds the position of anti-smoking in communal places.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that all humans have rights to pursue their desirable lifestyles
as well
as take responsibilities for any consequences. It means that they are free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a way that
positively
facilitates their emotion and sensibility.
For example
, a person might opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and to seek comfort when he/she encounters obstacles. Rights are always accompanied by obligations for the outcomes generated from the actions of citizens. It
is admitted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
impairs physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of both smokers and non-smokers. Regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habits, smokers are
probably
not resisting the temptation of cigarettes and continue living with it later.

On the other hand
, despite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s freedom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advocates support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public sites for the sake of society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
also
, leads to lung cancer for active smokers and for non-smokers it leads to respiratory problems due to the inhalation of smoke fumes.
Therefore
, patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bear the medical expenses and long-term treatment for the cases, which could either
be cured
with considerable effort and money or cause fatal disease for the bearers.
Furthermore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
smoke in public spots, the youngsters are likely to imitate adults’ as it can
be regarded
as a stylish manner among their peers. It is
thus
vital to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in any collective spaces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
harmful effects on humans.

To conclude
, although it cannot deny the importance of citizens’ freedom, we should put the whole society’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
first
place by restricting public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as it would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues to humans.
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IELTS essay There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smokers but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom of action. What are your views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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