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Some People Believe The Aim Of University Education Is To Help Graduates Get Better Jobs

Some People Believe The Aim Of University Education Is To Help Graduates Get Better Jobs 255B6
It is claimed by some people that higher education coupled with just getting better jobs. The opponent believes that university can benefit considerably people far more than just studying and job seeking. I believe be said with some certainty that the academic achievement have a broad range of advantages for individuals other than just looking for better occupation. It is certainly true that many students derived benefits from the course in the university and trained for getting jobs. The graduation purpose is to meet the market need. So people can learn the skills which are needed in the specific work, for example students can get skills to work with laboratory instruments. Consequently the employers have a tendency to hire the one who has the work skills in the university. It is also considered that higher education could bring lots of benefits other than work skills. Because the academic education can make outstanding contributions to the individuals vision. For example keeping in touch with the professors, who are mostly knowledgeable in specific field, helps students to widen their insight to not only the education, but also to their personal life. So the academic education can impact the students. Hence, people will be trained in different aspects. To sum up, even though some people are of the opinion that university just works for getting better job opportunities, nevertheless others believe the higher education is a contributing factor in the people life. I am totally for t is idea that derives from wider benefits of university education. It is important to be conscious of the environment which we we grow our social personality.
It
is claimed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
coupled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
getting better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The opponent believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
considerably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
far more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
studying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeking. I believe
be said
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certainty that the academic achievement have a broad range of advantages for individuals other than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
looking for better occupation.

It is
certainly
true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
derived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from the course in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and trained for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The graduation purpose is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the market need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
are needed
in the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
for example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with laboratory instruments.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the employers have a tendency to hire the one who has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the university.

It is
also
considered that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could bring lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
outstanding contributions to the individuals vision.
For example
keeping in touch with the professors, who are
mostly
knowledgeable in specific field,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to widen their insight to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to their personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be trained
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.

To sum up,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
works for getting better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities,
nevertheless
others believe the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a contributing factor in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life. I am
totally
for t is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that derives from wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be conscious of the environment which
Possible typo: you repeated a word
we we
grow our social personality.
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IELTS essay Some People Believe The Aim Of University Education Is To Help Graduates Get Better Jobs

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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