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Some people believe that young people should spend more of their time with their families and less on entertainment outside the home. Others disagree.

Some people believe that young people should spend more of their time with their families and less on entertainment outside the home. Others disagree. 3a0gN
Some people believed that youngsters should allocate much of their recreational time for their families instead of entertaining themselves outside. While it is true that young individuals spend their time virtually with family, I believe its also possible to expand social circle. On the one hand, there are some reasons why spend time with family at home is much more important. First of all, young people can learn traditional and ethical values in a safe way at home. The main reason for this argument is that family is not only giving them a moral message but also play an essential role in forming the character process. Additionally, the family provide orientation for young ones to go on the right track, and this is also a source of motivation and inspiration for them to keep moving forward and reach the zenith of success. So all in all family is of the most important for the youngsters. On the other hand, some people utter that having a wide social circle is significantly vital. This is due to fact that it is an excellent way to learn the interpersonal skill as well as improve conflict management skill and therefore handle life’s problem better when they enter life. In contrast, children who do not have much relationship apart from their family tend to be anti-social. Furthermore, some people feel stress out because of working in a competitive environment and put under pressure on a frequent basis. This is the reason why they have a habit of going out to bars, restaurants or cafe in the weekend to feel at ease and recharge their battery after a hectic schedule. In conclusion, although enjoying entertainment time outside is extremely crucial, time-sharing laughs and happiness with family are of value. I believe that young people should distribute their leisure time efficiently for both family and themselves.
Some
people
believed that youngsters should allocate much of their recreational
time
for their
families
instead
of entertaining themselves outside. While it is true that
young
individuals spend their
time
virtually
with
family
, I believe its
also
possible to expand social circle.

On the one hand, there are
some
reasons why spend
time
with
family
at home is much more
important
.
First of all
,
young
people
can learn traditional and ethical values
in a safe way
at home. The main reason for this argument is that
family
is not
only
giving them a moral message
but
also
play an essential role in forming the character process.
Additionally
, the
family
provide orientation for
young
ones to go on the right
track
, and this is
also
a source of motivation and inspiration for them to
keep
moving forward and reach the zenith of success.
So
all in all
family
is of the most
important
for the youngsters.

On the other hand
,
some
people
utter that having a wide social circle is
significantly
vital. This is due to fact that it is an excellent way to learn the interpersonal
skill
as well
as
improve
conflict management
skill
and
therefore
handle life’s problem better when they enter life.
In contrast
, children who do not have much relationship apart from their
family
tend to be anti-social.
Furthermore
,
some
people
feel
stress
out
because
of working in a competitive environment and put under pressure on a frequent basis. This is the reason why they have a habit of going out to bars, restaurants or
cafe
in the weekend to feel at
ease
and recharge their battery after a hectic schedule.

In conclusion
, although enjoying entertainment
time
outside is
extremely
crucial, time-sharing laughs and happiness with
family
are of value. I believe that
young
people
should distribute their leisure
time
efficiently
for both
family
and themselves.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that young people should spend more of their time with their families and less on entertainment outside the home. Others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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