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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.17

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 17
Eating only healthy food is really important for good health. In this regard, some people argue that government should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees up to a large extent that a higher rate of tax should paid by fast food companies. Embarking with the most prominent features. Firstly, increasing taxes would raise prices and lower consumption. Fast food companies would pass on these taxes to consumers in the form of higher prices and this would lead to people not being able to afford junk food because it is too expensive. Owing to this, street food would soon become a luxury item and it would only be less harmful to the general public health. For instance, the cost of organic food has proven prohibitively expensive for most people and that is why only a small percentage of the population of its regulars. Despite of this, on the paradoxical side people think that it is not an effective way because these food only prefer those people who do not have time to prepare their fooand they spend their time in office. Therefore, if authorities ought to increase the tax on junk food, then they will not care about the amount of money. In conclusion, although some people think that it is not effective way, but according to my point of view, this this is the best way to reduce the amount of fast food people buy.
Eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should levy a tariff on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with consuming this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is on the rise. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
up to a large extent that a higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "pay"
paid
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Embarking with the most prominent features.
Firstly
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would raise prices and lower consumption.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would pass on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to consumers in the form of higher prices and this would lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not being able to afford junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too expensive. Owing to this, street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become a luxury item and it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be less harmful to the
Consider using "public".
general public
health.
For instance
, the cost of organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has proven
prohibitively
expensive for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of the population of its regulars.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this, on the paradoxical side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not an effective way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
prefer those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have time to prepare their
Possible spelling mistake found.
fooand
they spend their time in office.
Therefore
, if authorities ought to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, then they will not care about the amount of money.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a effective".
effective
way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to my point of view,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
this this
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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