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Some people believe that with the presence of internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of past. What are the causes? Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that with the presence of internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of past. What are the causes? AP3Mw
These days, internet are make the world globalize, and it has become an integral part of people's lives. Therefore, some school of thought say that if net continues to be popular in this way newspapers will be part of history. I am agree with this statement, and in this essay I will support my idea with examples. Furthermore, In this essay I will investigate the cause of this situation. Firstly, the main reason of that the internet has spread so fast all around the world, and people have can see all the news or latest information on it very easily with fast browsing for instance if you live in Asian region, and you want to see the America stock market rates consequently you will watch on net. While, on the other hand newspaper system are become old, and slow that's why recently people are more preference to digital media. In my opinion, this is totally right thought in the view of the fact that nowadays, we have not a much time to read newspapers since life has set off fast to obtain information using the internet is quicker and more convenient than reading newspapers. Another point is that, buying the newspaper is the waste of money large amount of people think that, if you have a internet facilities for example they are many countries net become available low cost or totally free, so why you waste your cash on newspaper for all these reason newspapers will become the part of the past as soon. In conclusion, i draw the result that internet is helpful in everything today and that is why people use more these device than anything else. Beside, this is the common point people do not read the paper and it will soon be a part of ancient time.
These days, internet are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world globalize, and it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an integral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
say that if net continues to be popular in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of history. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, and in this essay I will support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
with examples.
Furthermore
, In this essay I will investigate the cause of this situation.

Firstly
, the main reason of that the internet has spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
all around the world, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all the news or latest information on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
browsing
for instance
if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Asian region, and you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the America stock market rates
consequently
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on net. While,
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
system are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and slow that's why recently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more preference to digital media.

In my opinion, this is
totally
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in the view of the fact that nowadays, we have not
Maybe you should omit the article 'a', leaving only "much".
a much
time to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
since life has set off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to obtain information using the internet is quicker and more convenient than reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. Another point is that, buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is the waste of money large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, if you have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
internet facilities
for example
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
available low cost or
totally
free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why you waste your cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
for all these reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the past as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
draw the result that internet is helpful in everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
Did you mean "this device" or "these devices"?
these device
than anything else. Beside, this is the common point
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not read the paper and it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of ancient time.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that with the presence of internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of past. What are the causes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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