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Some people believe that watching tv is bad for children. Other people claim that watching tv is educational.

Some people believe that watching tv is bad for children. Other people claim that watching tv is educational. RNODP
People have different views about whether watching television is educational and informative or harmful and distracting for offspring. Although, there are some negative and positive sides to watching television for children, I partly agree with this statement and think that parents should control and settle which TV program their children should watch. On the one hand, when it comes to TV, there are several informative and educational programs that are broadcast on television which broaden children`s literary horizons. For instance, educational programs such as learning English, historical films or wildlife namely national Geographic program help children in enormous ways to improve children`s English vocabulary, understanding of some historical events and a lot of other things of educational importance. Another good thing of watching TV is that has a positive effect on children`s mood as well as can make unwind when they are under pressure at school duties and their parents are busy with works and do not spend time with their children. Admittedly, there are not only educational programs but also have several programs which unsuitable for children such as there are some shows that are related to violence, drugs. These shows are addicted to bad habits and poisons children`s brain. Secondly, being stuck behind a television all day can lead children physically weak and it may affect their eyesight. This problem is widespread nowadays and children have to wear glasses from an early age. To conclude, in my opinion, despite the fact that it can be detrimental for children in watching TV, there would be no any harm if children were controlled by parents what kind of shows and how long they watch.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
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educational
and informative or harmful and distracting for offspring. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that parents should control and settle which TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

On the one hand, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to TV, there are several informative and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that are broadcast on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which broaden
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
literary horizons.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as learning English, historical films or wildlife
namely
national Geographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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children
in enormous ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
English vocabulary, understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical
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events
and
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a lot of
other things of
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educational
importance. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing of watching TV is that has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
mood
as well
as can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unwind when they are under pressure at school duties and their parents are busy with works and do not spend time with their children.

Admittedly
, there are not
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only
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educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which unsuitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
are related
to violence, drugs. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are addicted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and poisons
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
brain.
Secondly
,
being stuck
behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
all day can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
weak and it may affect their eyesight. This problem is widespread nowadays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses from an early age.

To conclude
, in my opinion, despite the fact that it can be detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in watching TV, there would be
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any harm if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were controlled
by parents what kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and how long they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that watching tv is bad for children. Other people claim that watching tv is educational.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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