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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Unpaid community service such as working for a philanthropic organization or helping old people must be an integral part of high school education. The schools are not a place for learning math or physics only. They should teach real life skills also. Therefore I strongly believe that unpaid community services should be added to school programs. Children who go to high school should learn to help old people without expecting anything in return. In my opinion, everyone needs to learn to help others without expecting anything in return. This might be difficult in the beginning, but they will learn this skill over time. For example, teaching sports to younger children or helping old people will become interesting activities for them after they see the other person’s happiness. By engaging in these activities from such a young age, they will learn to take care of people who need their help. For example, if they become an engineer, they will readily help an engineering student in internship. Working for a charity also gives students an opportunity to communicate with other people. This will improve their communication skills. Good communication skills are essential for success in life. For instance, by working for a charity, they start to communicate with people that they don’t know. This situation improves their communication skills. The other important point is that they will be a part of a group and learn to work in a group. In conclusion, unpaid community service must be an important part of high school education and I strongly believe that these services must be compulsory and with these services, students learn crucial life skills in their early life.
Unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
such as working for a philanthropic organization or helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an integral part of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not a place for learning math or physics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. They should teach real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
also
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
strongly
believe that unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs. Children who go to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without expecting anything in return.

In my opinion, everyone needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others without expecting anything in return. This might be difficult in the beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
over time.
For example
, teaching sports to younger children or helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become interesting activities for them after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person’s happiness. By engaging in these activities from such a young age, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
For example
, if they become an engineer, they will
readily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
an engineering student in internship.

Working for a charity
also
gives students an opportunity to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are essential for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, by working for a charity, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they don’t know. This situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that they will be a part of a group and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to work in a group.

In conclusion
, unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education and I
strongly
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory and with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching to younger children).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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