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In many parts of the world, families were large in the past because people had more children. Are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

People used to have several children in the past all around the world but, nowadays most families are small with one to two or even no children. In my point of view, nuclear families have pros and cons such as more privacy and independence against fewer support and aids. Living as a small family would increase every member burdens so, each individual might be needed to play more than one role in family and work harder. for instance, in the past, the men usually worked outside the home and women did household chores and nursing babies but these days most of women have to work because of economical reasons and home duties are divided between both men and women while in the past grand parents and older children were great aid to maintaining home and taking care of younger children. another reason that extended family is beneficial is that they could rely on each other in difficulties and get support frome each other. in current times people are deeply drowned by their own problems and usually don't have anyone to support them whereas in large families there were often somebody to support others through their hard times. In other hand, there are some benefits to living as small families. firstly, people have more privacy and couples have more private time. secondly, the quality of living increased by fewer persons who expense family income and giving more attention to children demands. lastly, this type of living help people rely on their own abilities and children grow as capable and independent persons. In conclusion, though families led to be smaller and it promoted privacy and self raising but people also lost great supports and aids from relatives during this process.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have several
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children
in the past all around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
with one to two or even no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my point of view, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have pros and cons such as more privacy and independence against fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and aids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would increase every member burdens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, each individual might
be needed
to play more than one role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and work harder.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
instance, in the past, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
usually
worked outside the home and women did household chores and nursing babies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days
After ‘most of’, you should use ‘the’ (“most of the women”) or simply say “most women”.
most of women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean “economic” (=connected with economy)?
economical
reasons and home duties
are divided
between both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women while in the past
This word is normally spelled as one.
grand parents
and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were great aid to maintaining home and taking care of younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
another
reason that extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is beneficial is that they could rely on each
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other
in difficulties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
Possible spelling mistake found.
frome
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
deeply
drowned by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems and
usually
don't have anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them whereas in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
somebody to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
others through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
times. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
firstly
,
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people
have more privacy and couples have more private time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
secondly
, the quality of
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living
increased by fewer persons who expense
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family
income and giving more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
demands.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
lastly
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow as capable and independent persons.
In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
led to be
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smaller and
it promoted privacy and
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
self raising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
lost great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
and aids from relatives during this process.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world, families were large in the past because people had more children. Are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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