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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.17

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 17
Many people believe that compulsory modules of secondary school should be included unpaid community service activity such as a charity work, improving their local environment or be a sport teacher for younger children. This essay agrees that teenagers should have an opportunity to be a volunteer because volunteering promotes goodness and develops their skill. Initially, working unpaid community service as a volunteer can promote goodness for teenagers. Volunteering can make teenagers proud when they can help other people, this will promotes teenager to grow with a beautiful mind. Big Cleaning Day is my high school annual activity, all students come to school this day for cleaning the school and nearby areas, for example. This activity makes us feel good when we can help each other working and it also makes us care about the environment. While teenagers are a volunteer for community service, they were promoted not only good but also work and communication skills. Many skills can improve when working with many people. If secondary school does not have a voluntary work in compulsory modules, many teenagers will not have an opportunity to develop their skill with this activity. My high school sports day, for instance, senior students in the school can improve their work skills when they have a role in teaching some sports for junior students. My work and communication skills are improving by this activity. In conclusion, unpaid community service should be a part of compulsory of high school programmes, because the benefits of improving goodness and skill development are very useful to grow an adult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that compulsory modules of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
be included
unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
such as a charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, improving their local environment or be a sport teacher for younger children. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should have an opportunity to be a volunteer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
volunteering promotes goodness and develops their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Initially
, working unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as a volunteer can promote goodness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. Volunteering can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
proud when they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this will promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
to grow with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Cleaning Day is my high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, all students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
this day for cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and nearby areas,
for example
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
when we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other working and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us care about the environment.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are a volunteer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, they
were promoted
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
when working with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not have a voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in compulsory modules,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
will not have an opportunity to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. My high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
sports day,
for instance
, senior students in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when they have a role in teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports for junior students. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are improving by this activity.

In conclusion
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should be a part of compulsory of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the benefits of improving goodness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to grow an adult.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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