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Some people believe that unpaid community programs for high school should be mandatory. For what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that unpaid community programs for high school should be mandatory. For what extent do you agree? KnRpw
It is indeed true that a segment of individuals states that voluntary activities which are done with no wages, such as charities, and practicing games to junior fellows, should be compulsory in the secondary school curriculum. Even though some narrow-sighted agree with this, I solidly deny it and the reasons will be discussed through this essay. There are some significant reasons to avoid unpaid community works. First and foremost, even though juveniles may participate in such activities with having a great fantasy, it can be a bane for their academics, since they are leading hectic lives and also always busy with their extra-curricular activities. What I meant by this is, if they use their precious time on the nation, for instance without a salary, the attention which had been dragged by coursework can be degreased along with their class rank due to the uncomparable competitiveness among students. Moreover, the most recent measure that has been taken for the beneficiary of German students by prohibiting unpaid works throughout the country is the best example that can bring forward. The next reason in the list is, it is far more common that everyone needs an appreciation with regard to their works. This is because almost all the individualsare looking not only about their compensation but also about the employment benefits. As we are living in a developed era, when, in this period the minimum payment in some countries also has some controversial thoughts, the zero value can be a joke to the whole world. For example, in the USA, paid internships will be increased from 56 percent to 100 percent during the next decade according to their future predictions. To sum up my writing, I reiterate that non-payable charity works should be kicked off from the world of business, even for the students, as they are leading busy lives and also need an appreciation toward their works
It is
indeed
true that a segment of individuals states that voluntary activities which
are done
with no wages, such as charities, and practicing games to junior fellows, should be compulsory in the secondary school curriculum.
Even though
some
narrow-sighted
agree
with this, I
solidly
deny it and the reasons will
be discussed
through this essay. There are
some
significant reasons to avoid unpaid community works.
First
and foremost,
even though
juveniles may participate in such activities with having a great fantasy, it can be a bane for their academics, since they are leading hectic
lives
and
also
always busy with their extra-curricular activities. What I meant by this is, if they
use
their precious time on the nation,
for instance
without a salary, the attention which had
been dragged
by coursework can
be degreased
along with their
class
rank due to the
uncomparable
competitiveness among students.
Moreover
, the most recent measure that has
been taken
for the beneficiary of German students by prohibiting unpaid works throughout the country is the best example that can bring forward. The
next
reason in the list is, it is far more common that everyone needs an appreciation with regard to their works. This is
because
almost all the
individualsare
looking not
only
about their compensation
but
also
about the employment benefits. As we are living in a developed era, when, in this period the minimum payment in
some
countries
also
has
some
controversial thoughts, the zero value can be a joke to the whole world.
For example
, in the USA, paid internships will
be increased
from 56 percent to 100 percent during the
next
decade according to their future predictions. To sum up my writing, I reiterate that non-payable charity works should
be kicked
off from the world of business, even for the students, as they are leading busy
lives
and
also
need an appreciation toward their
works
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community programs for high school should be mandatory. For what extent do you agree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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