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Describing a process how steel rods are produced for the household property.

Describing a process how steel rods are produced for the household property. 25wBw
The picture explains the way in which steel rods are produced for the household property. Overall, there are eleven steps in the process, it begins with collecting the raw material until the last step which is an inspection of products for the quality of the steel rods. First of all, the raw materials are gathered for steel rods, there are three ingredients which are iron ore, yellow ore, and carbon. Then, the materials are melted at temperature between 1300 until 1500 Celsius in the melting slit. They are refined on the smelting cabin and become candescent metals in which poured into ingots by the pouring machine Following stages, the ingots go through a cooling process. They are cooled by the reservoir with temperature (ranging from 60 to 100 Celsius) and turned into metals. When the metals through the nozzles, they are founded and become the strands of cool metal. The next process is formed strands of metal turn into steel rods by rollers. The steel rods are heated for treatment in the heating machine. Next, a surface checks of the products is completed by measuring automation Subsequently, the metal products are sized by cutter machine and get the ID stamping on the surface of rods. Lastly, the products are needed inspections to give good quality
The picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rods
are produced
for the household property.

Overall
, there are eleven steps in the process, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with collecting the raw material until the last step which is an inspection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
rods.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the raw materials
are gathered
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rods
, there are three ingredients which are iron ore, yellow ore, and carbon. Then, the materials
are melted
at temperature between 1300 until 1500 Celsius in the melting slit. They
are refined
on the smelting cabin and become
Possible spelling mistake found.
candescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metals
in which poured into ingots by the pouring
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
machine


Following stages, the ingots go through a cooling process. They
are cooled
by the reservoir with temperature (ranging from 60 to 100 Celsius) and turned into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metals
. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metals
through the nozzles, they
are founded
and become the strands of cool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
. The
next
process
is formed
strands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
turn into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rods
by rollers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rods
are heated
for treatment in the heating machine.
Next
, a surface
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is completed
by measuring automation

Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sized
by cutter machine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the ID stamping on the surface of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rods
.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are needed
inspections to give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
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IELTS essay Describing a process how steel rods are produced for the household property.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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