Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that TV is bad for children

Some people believe that TV is bad for children 5k3xB
Firstly, watching television could distracted children from studying. Children tend to attracted by eye-catching, colorful things. That is the reason why they would like spend time to watch TV than the homeworks at school. Secondly, it could affect children’s behavior in the bad ways. This modern life has many channel and entertainment channel. Some of them are carefully censored but the rest are not or lightly censored. This leads to a lot of toxic contents spread out on the TV like: adult videos, violent films, … Children is like a white paper, they couldn’t distinguish what is wrong. They may find channels containing malicious content on Tv, or they may see adult content by accident. Finally, watching TV for a long time is the culprits of diseases. Very few children watch Tv at a safe distance for their eyes, more than this, watching TV for a long time can build up a sedentary life style in them. They stay in the room, stare at the screen as a habit then their muscle do not grow properly as well as their bones and brain at this ages.
Firstly
, watching television could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "distract"
distracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from studying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
tend to attracted by eye-catching, colorful things.
That is
the reason why they would like spend time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks at
school.
Secondly
, it could affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ways. This modern life has
Possible agreement error. The noun channel seems to be countable; consider using: "many channels".
many channel
and entertainment channel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are
carefully
censored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rest are not or
lightly
censored. This leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
toxic contents spread out on the TV like: adult videos, violent films, …
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
like a white paper, they couldn’t distinguish what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. They may find channels containing malicious content on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
, or they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
adult content by accident.
Finally
, watching TV for a long time is the culprits of diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
at a safe distance for their eyes, more than this, watching TV for a long time can build up a sedentary life style in them. They stay in the room, stare at the screen as a habit then their muscle do not grow
properly
as well
as their bones and brain at
Did you mean "these"?
this
ages.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that TV is bad for children

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    2. Is your country a safe country?
    I firmly believe that my country is safe. Because there are many reasons. First of all, security is always strictly regulated and implemented. So everyone's safety is always guaranteed. In addition, the dangers or the cases are quickly solved by the police or the protection agencies. Moreover, the c...
  • 6.5band
    goverment should pay for student in necessary fields
    For years, there has been a gap between the number of graduates from the university and the demand of labor market, particularly in certain fields. Therefore, some people suggest that the government should subsidize students who study faculties highly demanded from the society and reduce funding oth...
  • 5.5band
    Disadvantage of living in a big city
    Day by day, many people move and settle down in a major borough, but living there is always having a lot of disadvantages. There are three main drawbacks that will be explained in detail as below. Firstly, there is a huge amount of high services expenses in a major city. In the first place, the pri...
  • 5.5band
    Is using social media making us less social? Why (not)?
    Nowadays, many people are wondering about the reality of social media and it effects on our life. Among the pandemic COVID-19 that is becoming more and more complicated, people have dificulty in meeting and communicating. In my opinion, it is true that using social media is making us less social for...
  • 6band
    Crackdown on extra classes
    Many schools have begun offering extra classes in recent years. The main purpose of additional classes is to provide learners with additional knowledge and information. However, that is not always the case. In particular, this form of learning is controversial as it puts a burden on the students' li...
  • 5band
    3. Should police in your country be stricter or less strict?
    The police in my country are more and more strict. There are many examples to show that. First, always set strict rules, just need to violate the righteous punishment. For example, there are more than a hundred laws and regulations that must be followed, even if they are children of the president, b...