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Disadvantage of living in a big city

Disadvantage of living in a big city PkgJj
Day by day, many people move and settle down in a major borough, but living there is always having a lot of disadvantages. There are three main drawbacks that will be explained in detail as below. Firstly, there is a huge amount of high services expenses in a major city. In the first place, the prices of accommodation including renting a room and using water and electricity are very expensive. Besides that, expenditure of fuel and power supply consumption is very costly because people use much petro and power. In addition, medical treatment nowadays is more and more modern so that they are always overpriced. For example, someone who comes from the countryside rents a high-priced apartment to live in a – an urban center, they have to pay a ton of money. For this reason, if they want to settle down in a downtown center, they need to get much - a lot of money to pay for their expenditures. Secondly, traffic jams is - are one of the most problems that people have had to face. First of all, a variety of means of vehicles have run continuously on the road. Also, road constructions - construction and maintenances have frequently happened, and they make a decrease in the moving area which is already finite. Furthermore, traffic awareness has been very low there, and it makes traffic disruption even worse. An instance, some of the humans want to be ahead when they are in traffic. They then find and poke at every space that they can, and they don’t – do not care about how the others around them are – bỏ had to drive. Because of them – this / their behaviors, the traffic becomes chaotic and unstable, and it make - makes everyone waste time getting out of this way. Thirdly, dwelling in the big town will be accept - accept a loneliness - lonely life. In the same way, each person who lived in the countryside and have – has inhabited in the downtown area has a limitation of social relationships. Also, everybody is – has experienced social isolation that likes - means they doesn’t – do not meet or talk with their neighbors. Moreover, everyone has emotional issues that are difficult for them to deal with by themselves. As revealed by every person who settled down in a major city, and they have gotten no financial support from anyone. So they have tried their best to work to pay their expensive expenses. For this reason, they haven’t - have not had time for their friends and their family, and it makes them homesick and have a few social relationships. In conclude - conclusion, inhabiting in – bỏ the big downtown has had a huge a mount - amount of shortcomings for persons – people who live there. In this essay, there are three principal inconveniences was – were highlighted above.
Day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and settle down in a major borough,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
living there is always having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages. There are three main drawbacks that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in detail as below.

Firstly
, there is a huge amount of high services expenses in a major city. In the
first
place, the prices of accommodation including renting a room and using water and electricity are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
Besides
that, expenditure of fuel and power supply consumption is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
petro
and power.
In addition
, medical treatment nowadays is more and more modern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are always overpriced.
For example
, someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the countryside rents a high-priced apartment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
an urban center, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a ton of money.
For this reason
, if they want to settle down in a downtown center, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to pay for their expenditures.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams is
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
are one of the most problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have had to face.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a variety of means of vehicles have run
continuously
on the road.
Also
, road constructions
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
construction and maintenances have
frequently
happened, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a decrease in the moving area which is already finite.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
awareness has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low there, and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
disruption even worse. An instance,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
humans want to be ahead when they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. They then find and poke at every space that they can, and they don’t
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
do not care about how the others around them are
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Possible spelling mistake found.
bỏ
had to drive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of them
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
this / their behaviors, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
becomes chaotic and unstable, and it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
everyone waste time getting out of this way.

Thirdly
, dwelling in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
town will be
Consider using the past participle "accepted"?
accept
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
accept a loneliness
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
lonely life.
In the same way
, each person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the countryside and have
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
has inhabited in the downtown area has a limitation of social relationships.
Also
, everybody is
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
has experienced social isolation that likes
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
means they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
or talk with their neighbors.
Moreover
, everyone has emotional issues that are difficult for them to deal with by themselves. As revealed by every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
settled down in a major city, and they have gotten no financial support from anyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they have tried their best to work to pay their expensive expenses.
For this reason
, they haven’t
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
have not had time for their friends and their family, and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them homesick and have a few social relationships.

In conclude
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
conclusion, inhabiting in
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Possible spelling mistake found.
bỏ
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
downtown has had a huge a mount
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
amount of shortcomings for persons
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. In this essay, there are three principal inconveniences was
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
were highlighted
above.
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IELTS essay Disadvantage of living in a big city

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
485 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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