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some people believe that travelling abroad can improve a nation's culture and attitude toward life as a result government should faciliate such trips especially for younger generation . however do you agree or dis agree

some people believe that travelling abroad can improve a nation's culture and attitude toward life as a result government should faciliate such trips especially for younger generation. however do you agree or dis agree L9l3n
Nowdays, some young people are very curious about learning new culture and get to know other people who live overseas traveling abroad can be a good opportunity for younger generation to adapt the other culture the government can help these people to get this experience. Ultimatly younger generation can improve them selves and as a result expand it into socity children today have a thirst to get experience and if this travel is done with useful planing, they can increase their knowledge and personality as well. Beside they can find more capability in social issues and share it with other people. For instence governments can create some entertainment in developed countries like visiting historical museams and special architectures in each country or even make it possible for the young to participate in seminars that every one can consult with each other and discuss their problems. In the end achieve a logical conclusion. Additionally, some times the young people can found their interests and use it for their future major. Albeit some people think that popular literacy can't help boost society it accademically seems that people who have enough knowledge are responsible and sociable that is an important factor for a developed country having said that some others do not tend to know about what is going on around them and just want to live the moment if there is no restriction by government they could meet wrong people or even learn things that is not right and are incline to promote them between other people this can have an irreparable impact on society to sum up traveling abroad actually is a suitable process the those people who want to see all the world and get a useful output from it. It can also help their country to improve in all issue on the other hand other people want to have fun rather than achieving beneficial things however there is always the threat of some individuals who want to transfer their wrong data which cause a creation of unawareness in the country
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious about learning new culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
overseas traveling abroad can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for younger generation to adapt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
culture the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this experience.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ultimatly
younger generation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Did you mean "themselves"?
them selves
and
as a result
expand it into
Possible spelling mistake found.
socity
 children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have a thirst to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience and if this travel
is done
with useful planing, they can increase their knowledge and personality
as well
. Beside they can find more capability in social issues and share it with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
instence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like visiting historical
Possible spelling mistake found.
museams
and special architectures in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for the young to participate in seminars that every one can consult with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and discuss their problems. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
achieve a logical conclusion.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
their interests and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for their future major. Albeit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that popular literacy can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost society it
Possible spelling mistake found.
accademically
seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge are responsible and sociable
that is
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
having said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others do not tend to know about what is going on around them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the moment if there is no restriction by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or even learn things
that is
not right and are incline to promote them between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this can have an irreparable impact on society to sum up traveling abroad actually is a suitable process the those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a useful output from it. It can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in all issue on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have fun
rather
than achieving beneficial things
however
there is always the threat of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to transfer their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
data which cause a creation of unawareness in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country
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IELTS essay some people believe that travelling abroad can improve a nation's culture and attitude toward life as a result government should faciliate such trips especially for younger generation. however do you agree or dis agree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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