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Some people believe that travel is beneficial while others argue that increased travel and globalization is destroying local cultures. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that travel is beneficial while others argue that increased travel and globalization is destroying local cultures. G9jWL
Some people think that travelling is an advantage for people to experience new cultures and people. However, it is commonly believed that local cultures are destroyed by the increasing travel and globalization. I believed that the benefits of travelling outnumbered the drawbacks due to several reasons. Firstly, some people support the opinion that travel gives opportunities to participate with new cultures and people. Since humans are social creatures, they enjoy communicating with each other. Although travelling to a new place makes it possible for people to meet new people in person and experience new cultures, it blends the cultures together and becomes globalized. Moreover, travelling narrows the differences between different cultures. I argue that it is a good thing because you can get every international food in one place and you are not required to travel to a country to enjoy that country’s culture and food. Secondly, according to the current situation, infrastructures, such as roads and railways, get improved more and more as travelling and trading becomes popular. Cities, towns and even villages get connected and transportation from one place to another is becoming more convenient. On the other hand, the environment is being damaged as more and more infrastructures are being built. For instance, building too much infrastructure can also destroy the natural beauty of a particular place. Finally, many people are becoming more and more open-minded to different races and cultures since the world is becoming globalized. In the past, people did not tolerate different races and there were wars between two or more ethnic races. On the other hand, people are connected with one another on the internet today and learn and experience each other’s unique cultures. I think that globalization did not destroy the local cultures but it promoted unique cultures for other people to experience. In conclusion, I strongly believed that the increase in the number of travelling and globalization did not destroy the local cultures but it promotes the local cultures. However, it should be handled carefully in order not to destroy the local natural beauty and cultures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is an advantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the increasing travel and globalization. I believed that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
outnumbered the drawbacks due to several reasons.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the opinion that travel gives opportunities to participate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since humans are social creatures, they enjoy communicating with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in person and experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, it blends the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together and becomes globalized.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
narrows the differences between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. I argue that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
every international food in one place and you are not required to travel to a country to enjoy that country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and food.

Secondly
, according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, infrastructures, such as roads and railways,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more and more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and trading becomes popular. Cities, towns and even villages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected and transportation from one place to another is becoming more convenient. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the environment is
being damaged
as more and more infrastructures are
being built
.
For instance
, building too much infrastructure can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
the natural beauty of a particular place.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more open-minded to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
races and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
since the world is becoming globalized. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not tolerate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
races and there were wars between two or more ethnic races. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are connected
with one another on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and learn and experience each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that globalization did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it promoted unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believed that the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and globalization did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it promotes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
However
, it should
be handled
carefully
in order not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
natural beauty and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that travel is beneficial while others argue that increased travel and globalization is destroying local cultures.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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