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Some people believe that trade and cultural relationships between the countries is a positive development, while others disagree. Discuss both the views and include your own opinion.

Some people believe that trade and cultural relationships between the countries is a positive development, while others disagree. xM8o
Some would argue that bonds between different nations are beneficial whether it is business-related or culture-related while others do not agree on this perspective. Although we can learn many things like their businesses or cultures from transitional companies, I believe that this contains harmful effects. On the one hand, foreign investments from developing countries to developed countries bring many benefits ranging from education to employment. This means that when foreign companies open their branches to other countries, so the number of vacant positions can be availed by the native residents. Moreover, there are many foreign education institutes are open here where students can learn their language besides their cultures. For instance, the project of the orange line in Pakistan can be the biggest example here. This is a project between Pakistan and China and it opens job positions for Pakistanis. Furthermore, there is a Chinese institute in Punjab University, and they teach the Chinese language as well as their culture. However, I believe that those projects may bring some drawbacks too which cannot be neglected. On the other hand, the small firms are already hardly managing their businesses. When foreign firms start operating in their countries, the native small-businesses can be bankrupted. The reason is that the disruption in their sales, and the facilities they provide their employees less than the foreign enterprises. Besides, while learning their language and cultures, citizens especially teenagers may forget the culture of their own, and they can be more likely to blindly follow their cultures. For instance, according to a business magazine Time, the apparel brand in Pakistan was closed due to the addition of a foreign brand that came to Pakistan in 2010. There is also another evidence in newspaper report a few days back which is related to children; they start to wear foreign dresses during studying their culture. Therefore, I believe that this approach has an adverse impact. In conclusion, if there are more foreign firms and culture learning operate in any country, the devastation of their businesses and cultures are more likely to happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that bonds between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations are beneficial whether it is business-related or culture-related while others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this perspective. Although we can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
from transitional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, I believe that this contains harmful effects.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
investments from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits ranging from education to employment. This means that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
open their branches to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the number of vacant positions can
be availed
by the native residents.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
education institutes are open here where students can learn their language
besides
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For instance
, the project of the orange line in Pakistan can be the biggest example here. This is a project between Pakistan and China and it opens job positions for Pakistanis.
Furthermore
, there is a Chinese institute in Punjab University, and they teach the Chinese language
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
However
, I believe that those projects may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too which cannot
be neglected
.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
firms are already hardly managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
firms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
operating in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the native
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-businesses can
be bankrupted
. The reason is that the disruption in their sales, and the facilities they provide their employees less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
enterprises.
Besides
, while learning their language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, citizens
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may forget the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, and they can be more likely to
blindly
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For instance
, according to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
magazine Time, the apparel brand in Pakistan
was closed
due to the addition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
brand that came to Pakistan in 2010. There is
also
another evidence in newspaper report a few days back which
is related
to children; they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dresses during studying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Therefore
, I believe that this approach has an adverse impact.

In conclusion
, if there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
firms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to operate"
operate
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the devastation of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are more likely to happen.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that trade and cultural relationships between the countries is a positive development, while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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