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Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while other disagree.What extent do u agree or disagree?

There has been a controverial premise on the accountabily of tourists. A section of society deems that holidaymakers should accept social and environmeintal responsibility while others hold dissenting opinion. This essay will discuss my partial agreement to the aforementioned statement in upcoming paragraphs. On one hand, there are several reasons why it is essential for travellers to accept the responsibility. Firstly, there are many historical place which allured the tourists to visit other places in order to explore the culture, language and tradition, if they are not being responsible to those places then there meaning to visit those places are redundant. For instance, a survey was conducted by world tourists industry in 2017 that 80% traveller are responsible about the social and environment effect as when they visit any religious places, they always cover their head according to the believes of that places. One the other hand, primarily, some of the tourists are irresponible towards the social and environmental issues. For instance, million of tourists visit other places every year to ehance their knowledge but still knowingly or unknowingly they throw rubbish into the surrounding and this release contamination into the water and air. Consequently, this may have a detrimental impact on the healths of individuals and the may grapple with serious ailments. In addition to this, holidaymakers do not follow the rules and regulation of other countries as they are unaware but sometimes it hurts the sentiments of local dwellers which might disturbs the harmony in the societies or places. In conclusion, no doubt, tourists are responsible towards the social and environmental impacts but still, they hurts the sentiments of local people being unaware about the rules and regulation of that particular place.
There has been a
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controverial
premise on the
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accountabily
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. A section of society deems that holidaymakers should accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
environmeintal
responsibility while others hold dissenting opinion. This essay will discuss my partial agreement to the aforementioned statement in upcoming paragraphs.

On one hand, there are several reasons why it is essential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to accept the responsibility.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which allured the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to explore the culture, language and tradition, if they are not being responsible to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
then there meaning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are redundant.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by world
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "tourists'" or "tourist's"?
tourists
industry in 2017 that 80%
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
are responsible about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and environment effect as when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
any religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, they always cover their head according to the
Did you mean "beliefs" (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
believes
of that places.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
primarily
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
irresponible
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and environmental issues.
For instance
,
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
every year to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ehance
their knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
knowingly
or
unknowingly
they throw rubbish into the surrounding and this release contamination into the water and air.
Consequently
, this may have a detrimental impact on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
of individuals and the may grapple with serious ailments.
In addition
to this, holidaymakers do not follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries as they are unaware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it hurts the sentiments of local dwellers which might disturbs the harmony in the societies or places.

In conclusion
, no doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are responsible towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and environmental impacts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "hurt"
hurts
the sentiments of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being unaware about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while other disagree. What extent do u agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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