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Some people believe that tourism does more to create tension between countries, rather than, helping individuals, better understanding agriculture. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Currently, many nations economic totally depends upon the tourism although a number of citizen think that tourists build tension in between countries while some believe that it helps civilians economically as well as it helps to understand various traditions most of my largely agree with the premier statement due to its merits. Finally, Mod of income is one of the dominant reason why I tend to hold my opinion in the favour of tourists, reason being, when tourist visit some country they spent lot of money on the stuff such as food, hotels, daily needs and many other things, which ultimately increase the income of the folks. To illustrate with an example, according to the newspaper The Globe, 80% Thailand economy is depend upon the number of tourist visit their. Moreover, for attracting more and more tourist towards the country government always build new buildings, tourist attraction spot which attract a plethora of people in the country. At the result country is developing. Secondly, understanding various tradition is an other main standpoint because while visiting to a nation individuals always hire a tour guide to tell them about the ancient history of that country and it increase the knowledge of tourist regarding the nation along with the tradition of the people who live in that nation. Does if any person know the tradition of some other country then it would create a strong bond between the folk. In addition to that, it also helps people to attract with different individuals. Paradoxically, tourist does create tension in between Nation on owing to that, sometimes tourist do some illegal activities such as smuggling of drugs along with many others. To examplify a survey was conducted by the police department of Canada and it reveals that 60% tourist stay illegally in their country after their Visa expiring. Whereas, this problem could be handled by stricting the law against that culprit. To sum up, despite that stress created by tourists which could be tackled by creating strict laws against them yet I believe source of income, understanding different culture along with the development of country are the crucial standpoint why people prefer to have tourist in their Nation.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
economic
totally
depends upon the tourism although
Possible agreement error. The noun citizen seems to be countable; consider using: “a number of citizens”.
a number of citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
build tension in between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
civilians
economically
as well
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to understand various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
most of my
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the premier statement due to its merits.

Finally
, Mod of income is one of the dominant reason why I tend to hold my opinion in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, reason being, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they spent
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money on the stuff such as food, hotels, daily needs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things, which
ultimately
increase the income of the folks. To illustrate with an example, according to the newspaper The Globe, 80% Thailand economy is
Consider using either the past participle “depended” or the present participle “depending” here.
depend
upon the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visit their.
Moreover
, for attracting more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
always build new buildings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction spot which attract a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. At the result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is developing.

Secondly
, understanding various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
main standpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while visiting to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
individuals always hire a tour guide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them about the ancient history of that
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “increases”.
increase
the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Does if any person know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
then it would create a strong bond between the folk.
In addition
to that, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attract with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals.

Paradoxically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
does create tension in between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
on owing to that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illegal activities such as smuggling of drugs along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
a survey
was conducted
by the police department of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Canada and
it reveals that 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
stay
illegally
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after their Visa expiring.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, this problem could
be handled
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
stricting
the law against that culprit.

To sum up, despite that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
which could
be tackled
by creating strict laws against them
yet
I believe source of income, understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture along with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are the crucial standpoint why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that tourism does more to create tension between countries, rather than, helping individuals, better understanding agriculture.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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