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Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v.8

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 8
Many people prefer to study their higher studies in universities. However, some students live outside their home because their universities are in different places, while others live with their family. In this essay, I will discuss about both the advantages and disadvantages related to that statement. Firstly, it is easy to solve our problems related to university as well as we can get support from our families. Apart from that, living outside from family can help us to learn to be independent without financial support from family. For instance, we can earn money by working at part time jobs beside our university studies. So, living outside in different places for our university studies can help to be independent and can study in a noise free environment. Secondly, living with family members can make us difficult to study on our own. Although many students prefer to live away from home, sometimes it can be difficult to cook, washing and other money issues. For example, it is difficult to get a part time job for months because of competition for jobs. However, the students who live with their families can get problems related to privacy and other work issues. So, there are many cons related to university studies with or without family members. In conclusion, students living away from home in different places can help us to learn living independence and self satisfaction. Moreover, living with family members can cause privacy issues and makes us too dependent on others for our works. Moreover, there are many advantages living with family as we get emotional and financial support from them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their higher
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studies
in
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universities
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
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live
outside their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
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universities
are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
the advantages and disadvantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to that statement.

Firstly
, it is easy to solve our problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as well
as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
outside from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn to be independent without financial support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, we can earn money by working at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs beside our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
outside in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to be independent and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a noise free environment.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us difficult to
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study
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
away from home,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be difficult to cook, washing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
money issues.
For example
, it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job for months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition for jobs.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
work issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
with or without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
independence and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can cause privacy issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us too dependent on others for our works.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
emotional and financial support from them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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