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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. 1
Some people think murderers need strong punishments without not hear their reasons, but somebody says we must listen murderers reasons why they did this crime. For introduction I will talk about addition to my own point of view. I rely on both these are true, we arouse on some options and fixed punishments on some situations. Additionally I can say judges sometimes decide false decisions. First of all I prop both these ideas. Why punishments are available? As the majority of shame bodies are in prison, but a minority of gangsters are free right now. Because expert sometimes decide false decisions and pick their free life. Although the court must motivate to poverty-stricken population, but she or he does not motivate, unlike he or she changes indigent free people to brutal and stupid collective. Likewise referee need to think, but he or she does not think. İs it a gorgeous world of worthless? Unfortunately, it is a lack and dreadful for them. Must they live in darkness without their families? ? İs it's true if they do not have guilts? Then? Everything will be horrible for them, especially their sons or daughters. Then. . . . Furthermore, something will change in the their world specially their family's connections and this is awful. Maybe they will think everything would be dreaded but this is so. . . Also they can invective to court, I know it is not fabulous option but they can do. . I am thinking, learning true matter is so difficult or it is even impossible for people. Maybe the monsters will say false ideas or maybe they have burdensome considerations. İndubitable everything is not so homey for slayers say their criminal events. Necessary point is assassins must talk true options to people, but they do not say sometimes right situations to people in this privilege when policemen arrest them and undeniably creamers do not oration rightfulness situations to collectively. İndisputable they need to listen by community the same choice when done not decide by judges and she/he does not go to prison yet. For instance, there is a human lived jail without guilts approximately 46 years and unfortunately this human's young time passes from his life, well they gave 10 million dollars to him but this is not way out on this opportunity. In addition to 10 million dollars, do not give to the pure peoples' backgrounds and it is terribly tense to the shame humans. İ think it is the worst situation. İf we do not want them to happen, we must motivate each-other nonetheless we try to be charitable. And therefore the judges must decide truest decisions for tempers maybe they are not cut-throat maybe they are naive. Judges must decide truest decisions for killers and population otherwise executioners have some deals to die. And the same choice ruler must motivate to killers, because of fear. So enforcers have dread and everybody try to calm them the same time and then if they are cosy they start to say accurately. These are my own point of views and I think these ideas are true in this modern world. İn conclusion I can say all of us try to decide true decisions like judges when the person is liquidated, must be motivated sometimes and fixed punishments often.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
murderers need strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
without not hear their reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
somebody says we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
listen murderers reasons why they did this crime.

For
The comma is probably missing here: "introduction, I".
introduction I
will talk about addition to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view. I rely on both these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
, we arouse on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
options and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
I can say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
judges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I prop both these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are available? As the majority of shame bodies are in prison,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a minority of gangsters are free right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and pick their free life. Although the court
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivate
to poverty-stricken population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she or he does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivate
, unlike he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
indigent free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to brutal and stupid collective.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
referee need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he or she does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İs
it a gorgeous world of worthless? Unfortunately, it is a lack and dreadful for them. M
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ust
they l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
in darkness without their families? ?
Possible spelling mistake found.
İs
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
if they do not have
Possible spelling mistake found.
guilts
? Then? Everything will be horrible for them, es
pecially t
heir sons or daughters. Then.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Fu
rthermore,
something will ch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ange i
n
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their world" or "the world"?
the their world
specially
their family's connections and this is awful. Maybe they will th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ink e
verything would
be dreaded
bu
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
t t
his is so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Al
so t
hey
The word 'invective' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can invective
to court, I know it is not fabulous option bu
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
t t
hey can do.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


I am thinking, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
matter is so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
d
ifficult or it is even impossible for pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople.
Maybe the monsters will say false id
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eas o
r maybe they have burdensome considerations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İndubitable
everything is not so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ho
mey for slayers say their criminal eve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nts. N
ecessary point is assassins mus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
t ta
lk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
options to peo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ple, b
ut
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
th
ey do not say som
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
etimes ri
ght
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
to peo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ple in
this privilege when policemen arrest them and
undeniably
creamers do not oration rightfulness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
Did you mean "too"?
to
collectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İndisputable
they need to listen by community the same choice when done not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
judges and
she/he does not go to prison yet.
Fo
r
instance, th
ere is a human live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
d jai
l without
Possible spelling mistake found.
guilts
approximately 46 years and unfortunately this
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human young"?
human's young
time passes from his life, well they gave 10 million dollars to him but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
thi
s is not way out on this opportunity. In a
ddition to
10 million dollars, do not give to the pure peoples' backgrounds and it is
terribly
tense to the shame humans. İ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
it i
s the worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
we do not want them to happen, we must m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
otiv
ate each-other nonetheless we try to be charitable. And therefore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
judges
must d
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ecid
e
A determiner is probably missing here: "the truest".
truest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for tempers maybe they are not cut-th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
roa
t maybe they are naive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Judges
must d
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ecid
e
A determiner is probably missing here: "the truest".
truest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for killers and population otherw
ise execu
tioners have some d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
eals
to die. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nd
the same choice ruler must m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
otiv
ate to killers, becaus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
e of fe
ar. So enf
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
or
cers have dread and everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to calm them the same time and then if they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'cosy' is British English.
cosy
they start
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
to sa
y
accurately
. These are my own po
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
int
of views and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
these
ideas are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
in this modern world.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
can say all of us try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
judges
when the person
is liquidated
, must be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
mot
ivated sometim
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
es and fi
xed p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
unish
ments often.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
551 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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