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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.22

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 22
It is argued that punishments for various crimes should be fixed accordingly. While some argue that it should be concluded based on the situations and actions that made them commit a misconduct should be reiterated and punish as needed. Though fixed punishments are effective, they will not prevent individuals to stop the activities in the future. I believe that explanation and demands from the individual should be carefully assessed before punishing and rehabilitating them would resolve the issue and wouldn't raise the problem again. To embark on, when a person commits an illegal act and caught while doing so and he knows what kind of treatment he is going to have in prison, he would be habituated to it and never suffers the same punishment and develops resistance against it. This kind of forfeiture would lead to more crimes by the same person repetitively. For example, In the United States crime rate increased by 40% in the last 5 years because there is only 3 months prison for more than 10 types of crimes that includes assault and stealing things. This could be stopped by educating them in the right way. On the other hand, if punishments are severe as per the seriousness behind the crime, it would result in instability among individual mental state and sometimes results in converting them to psychopaths. Rehabilitating and assessing the situations that made them commit a felony and solving the root cause would help a lot in solving the problem and also stop repeated crimes by the same person at least. Supporting them against their odds will help prevent crimes and also individual himself will educate others regarding the same. For example, in India mercy is shown thrice and in the final stage if the culprit doesn't change his behaviour, he will be punished to the core and also prisons him for a lifetime. This gives them a chance to change and also help others. In conclusion, although fixed punishments are effective only for particular crimes this should not be followed for all the crimes and considering the positives and bad inspirations would result in a much better community to live in.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
accordingly
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that it should
be concluded
based on the situations and actions that made them commit a misconduct should
be reiterated
and punish as needed. Though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are effective, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the activities in the future. I believe that explanation and demands from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should be
carefully
assessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
punishing and rehabilitating them would resolve the issue and wouldn't raise the problem again.

To embark on, when a person commits an illegal act and caught while doing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so and
he knows what kind of treatment he is going to have in prison, he would
be habituated
to it and never suffers the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and develops resistance against it. This kind of forfeiture would lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by the same person
repetitively
.
For example
, In the United States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate increased by 40% in the last 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 months prison for more than 10 types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that includes assault and stealing things. This could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by educating them in the right way.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are severe as per the seriousness behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, it would result in instability among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
mental state and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
results in converting them to psychopaths. Rehabilitating and assessing the situations that made them commit a felony and solving the root cause would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot in solving the problem and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
repeated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by the same person at least. Supporting them against their odds will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
himself will educate others regarding the same.
For example
, in India mercy
is shown
thrice and in the final stage if the culprit doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, he will
be punished
to the core and
also
prisons him for a lifetime. This gives them a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
this should not
be followed
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and considering the positives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
inspirations would result in a much better community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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