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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

In a salad days of millennium, the society is polarised into two groups almost equally regarding to the notion that, many masses think that there should be certain punishment for all crimes, however others believe that for every single crime there should be consider the circumstances and motivation behind it. Different people have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making the final sheets. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be share in its favour of certain punishments should be given to every victims. First and foremost, fixed punishments offer plethora benefits to judge to decide and give the punishment to the law breakers. As a result, the people will be think twice before committing any crime in their life. Thus, they also realise that the given punishment by court will be strict and hard for them. As an example, the country of Saudi arabia if there are any person stolen the car or apple their both hands will cut down. Secondly, it is especially helps to decline the rates of crime in every country. Shifting towards to the second school of thought that, under the court perception it is best to decide the plenty for every aspects and condition of crime. Since, many lawbreakers have some life related problems such as paying money for children school fees and many more. Moreover, some people do crime because they are mentally not fit. Consequently, if these kind of masses will be offered by court to take fixed punishments, Uncertainty it is basically and fair practice for some because what actually offender deserve it or what it decided for them. Hammering the last naiI, I personally believe that there should be equal balance while considering the circumstances behind the each crime and a clear judgement would be given by court to every offender for the rough treatment in the society.
In
The plural noun “days” cannot be used with the article “a”.
a salad days
of millennium, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. ‘polarised’ is British English.
polarised
into two groups almost
equally
The phrase ‘regarding to’ is not correct. Use “regarding” or “regard to”.
regarding to
the notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should be certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
however
others believe that for every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
there should be
Consider using the past participle “considered”.
consider
the circumstances and motivation behind it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the final sheets.

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to be share in its
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “victim”?
victims
.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
offer plethora benefits to judge to decide and give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to the
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
law breakers
.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be
Consider using either the past participle “thought” or the present participle “thinking” here.
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in their life.
Thus
, they
also
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realise’ is British English.
realise
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
court
will be strict and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them. As an example, the country of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Saudi arabia
if there are any
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “people”, “persons”?
person
stolen the car or apple their both hands will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down.
Secondly
, it is
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to decline the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in every country.

Shifting towards to the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that, under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
court
perception it is best to decide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
for every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “aspect”?
aspects
and condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lawbreakers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
life related problems such as paying money for children school fees and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are mentally not fit.
Consequently
, if
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “these kinds”?
these kind
of masses will
be offered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
court
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, Uncertainty it is
basically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
practice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
what actually offender deserve it or what it decided for them.

Hammering the last
Possible spelling mistake found.
naiI
, I
personally
believe that there should be equal balance while considering the circumstances behind
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “each” is left.
the each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
judgement would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
court
to every offender for the rough treatment in the society.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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