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Some people believe that there should be a limit to the maximum amount of money one can earn in a society. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that there should be a limit to the maximum amount of money one can earn in a society. OwXay
Given that money is one of the most essential materials one needs in their life, the quantity of salary one is able receive in a society has always been a matter of interest to many people. Some individuals believe that there must be a limit to how high this amount can get. I strongly disagree with this approach. Different jobs require different amounts of effort and knowledge; hence, it is expected for the salaries to be different as well. If there were a maximum to the amount of payment, it could create conflicts between people with the highest income in a situation where some of said people are working harder than the rest. Imagine two ophthalmologists with this very maximum payment who both work at the hospital for 8 hours a day. and one of them works at their own private clinic in addition to working at the hospital. Being aware of this situation, the ophthalmologist who also works at their clinic might consider this situation upsetting and inconsistent with justice. The conflicts caused by this matter can deal enormous damage to the society, and will eventually result in class divisions between individuals who get paid the most. Being aware that one’s diligence merits a larger paycheck, a person might believe that their so-called high salary is underwhelming. This state can negatively affect one’s work performance to the point where said person considers changing careers. This, on a larger scale, can lead to the collapse of the labor market since it is highly likely for people with the maximum payment to experience this sort of apathy toward their jobs. Although many people already exist who experience this feeling of dissatisfaction with their work, it would certainly not be pleasant to give rise to this occurrence by setting a limit to one’s salary. To conclude, I firmly believe that everyone should earn as much money as they deserve and limiting the maximum amount of this money would not be a great choice as it can cause serious harm to the society such as class divisions and a noticeable deterioration in one’s work performance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that money is one of the most essential materials one needs in their life, the quantity of salary one is
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'receive'.
able receive
in a society has always been a matter of interest to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a limit to how high this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. I
strongly
disagree with this approach.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
jobs require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of effort and knowledge;
hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
for the salaries to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as well
. If there were a maximum to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of payment, it could create conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the highest income in a situation where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working harder than the rest. Imagine two ophthalmologists with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
maximum payment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the hospital for 8 hours a day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
one of them works at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private clinic
in addition
to working at the hospital. Being aware of this situation, the ophthalmologist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
also
works at their clinic might consider this situation upsetting and inconsistent with justice. The conflicts caused by this matter can deal enormous damage to the society, and will
eventually
result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
divisions between individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid the most.

Being aware that one’s diligence merits a larger paycheck, a person might believe that their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called high salary is underwhelming. This state can
negatively
affect one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance to the point where said person considers changing careers. This, on a larger scale, can lead to the collapse of the labor market since it is
highly
likely for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the maximum payment to experience this sort of apathy toward their jobs. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already exist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
experience this feeling of dissatisfaction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it would
certainly
not be pleasant to give rise to this occurrence by setting a limit to one’s salary.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that everyone should earn as much money as they deserve and limiting the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of this money would not be a great choice as it can cause serious harm to the society such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
divisions and a noticeable deterioration in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a limit to the maximum amount of money one can earn in a society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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