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Some people believe that studying at university is the best way to succeed. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that studying at university is the best way to succeed. What is your opinion? 0a273
In this modern era, studying university or work right graduating high school is a topic interest and concern. I agree that studying college is a best way to succeed because of two reason. First from my point of view higher education brings specialized knowledge. Obviously in university lectures are experts who have a lot of practical experience in the field of study and supply material various. Students have the ability to learn academic knowledge, which they will not be able to do if they opt to work immediately after high school. This knowledge will help you advance quickly in your future career. Secondly in my opinion studying university have better qualification. While the market job is become more and more competitive, a good job position has a lot of candidates and of course employers will give priority to a degree, so if employee who do not have a university or college certificate will be unable to compete. In fact qualification is what employers expect these day. Therefore Graduating from university, people will have Better job opportunities, Tend to earn higher salaries than work straight after graduating high school. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having the degree. In conclusion the best way to secede is studying university
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or work right
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
high school is a topic interest and concern. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
college is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reason.
First
from my point of view higher education brings specialized knowledge.
Obviously
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
lectures are experts who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practical experience in the field of study and supply material various. Students have the ability to learn academic knowledge, which they will not be able to do if they opt to work immediately after high school. This knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you advance
quickly
in your future career.
Secondly
in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
have better qualification. While the market job
is become
more and more competitive, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job position has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
candidates and
of course
employers will give priority to a degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if employee who do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college certificate will be unable to compete. In fact qualification is what employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have Better job opportunities, Tend to earn higher salaries than work straight after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
high school.
For example
, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having the degree.
In conclusion
the best way to secede is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
university
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university is the best way to succeed. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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