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Some people believe that there are many dangers associated with teenage use of cell phones because of the potential for bullying or abuse. Others say that cell phones have greatly improved teenagers’ lives. What do you think about this?

Some people believe that there are many dangers associated with teenage use of cell phones because of the potential for bullying or abuse. Others say that cell phones have greatly improved teenagers’ lives. What do you think about this? OgEjM
These days, using cell phones is very popular all over the world, especially at the teenage. They can affect directly or indirectly to teenagers’ lives whether they realize it or not. Cell phones are the greatest revolution in the human beings’ activities, and they obviously bring the marvelous improvement to teenagers’ lives. On a daily basis, cell phones play a crucial part in the young’ activities. Cell phones provide teenager or students with tools and software that can assist them in completing and staying on top of their classwork. For instance, the adolescent can use cell phones to search for educational videos, or materials which related to their lesson. Besides, these methods will also give students healthier study behaviors, such as time management and organization skills. Next, using cell phones let them keep in touch with their friends or their family members from distant area by some social apps, like Messenger, Zalo, and so on. Mobile phones have not only given us the ability to communicate wirelessly, but they have also equipped us with a plethora of extremely useful functions such as taking pictures and images, listening to music, playing games, browsing the Internet, and much more. Having a cell phone help the young catch up with the latest things which can raise their knowledge up, and allow them entertain easily. Despite all above benefits, it is argued that that there are many dangers associated with teenage use of cell phones because of the potential for bullying or abuse. They have a point. Nevertheless, youngster can be prevented from these risks by the supervision of their parents, or reading information from scientific surveys. Their parents can help them understand these issues, and let them aware of the possible cyberbullying. Provide that young people understand the dangers of using mobile phone in the wrong ways, they can keep the risks away. All in all, cell phones are now becoming more and more important than ever for teenage. They should recognize all the possible cyberbullying, so that their phones will be one of the most powerful tools which can improve their lives and let them access to the world.
These days, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular all over the world,
especially
at the teenage. They can affect
directly
or
indirectly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
whether they realize it or not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the greatest revolution in the human beings’ activities, and they
obviously
bring the marvelous improvement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On a daily basis,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
play a crucial part in the young’ activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
or students with tools and software that can assist them in completing and staying on top of their classwork.
For instance
, the adolescent can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to search for educational videos, or materials which related to their lesson.
Besides
, these methods will
also
give students healthier study behaviors, such as time management and organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Next
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends or their family members from distant area by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social apps, like Messenger,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us the ability to communicate
wirelessly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
also
equipped us with a plethora of
extremely
useful functions such as taking pictures and images, listening to music, playing games, browsing the Internet, and much more. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young catch up with the latest things which can raise their knowledge up, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them
Please check whether 'to' is missing here (to allow to do something).
entertain
easily
.

Despite all above benefits, it
is argued
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
associated with teenage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the potential for bullying or abuse. They have a point.
Nevertheless
, youngster can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
by the supervision of their parents, or reading information from scientific surveys. Their parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand these issues, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them aware of the possible cyberbullying. Provide that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
ways, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
away.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than ever for teenage. They should recognize all the possible cyberbullying,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
will be one of the most powerful tools which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them access to the world.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that there are many dangers associated with teenage use of cell phones because of the potential for bullying or abuse. Others say that cell phones have greatly improved teenagers’ lives. What do you think about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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