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Some people believe that their children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that their children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. v. 1
During the present scenario, parents are more attentive about their children's future due to the growing level of academic competition. Some person states that children should engage in educational activities during their spare time is better to achieve their goal. While, opposite side argues that it is not at all a right manner and would generate stress among them. This essay discusses these views in some detail before and states the personal opinion. On the one hand, the teenagers should think about the aim behind them and the way to achieve it if they spend their free time, which is considered as the happiest moment for educational purposes. For instance, if students had worked hard, they would have achieved the goal of a better future. The present generation is living in a competitive global, this must have been a significant role from the beginning to the end of a child's life. Furthermore, it not only aid to achieve the intention, but also make him an independent person. On the other hand, free hours, which is conceded as an occasion for young people, to involve in recreational actions. To illustrate an example, if children had entertains, it would have helped them to overcome academic stress and make their mind cool. The current educational materials are extremely hard and more advanced compared to previous years. In addition, preparing students for entrance exams at an early age might also be an extra barrier although would creates mental tension and depression. In this case relaxation hours are essential. Therefore schooling as well as leisure moment plays an equal role for students betterment. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that education is one of the primary factors for adolescents to attain the goal in this progressive world. However, there are many other extra curriculum performance like relaxing activities to overcome academic tension and to discern growing generation talents. The more parents should inspire children to express their views, the more posterity would rise.
During the present scenario, parents are more attentive about their children's future due to the growing level of academic competition.
Some
person states that children should engage in educational activities during their spare time is better to achieve their goal. While, opposite side argues that it is not at all a right manner and would generate
stress
among them. This essay discusses these views in
some
detail
before
and states the personal opinion.

On the one hand, the
teenagers
should
think
about the aim behind them and the way to achieve it if they spend their free time, which
is considered
as the happiest moment for educational purposes.
For instance
, if students had worked
hard
, they would have achieved the goal of a better future. The present generation is living in a competitive global, this
must
have been a significant role from the beginning to the
end
of a child's life.
Furthermore
, it not
only
aid to achieve the intention,
but
also
make
him an independent person.

On the other hand
, free hours, which
is conceded
as an occasion for young
people
, to involve in recreational actions. To illustrate an example, if children had entertains, it would have
helped
them to overcome academic
stress
and
make
their mind cool. The
current
educational materials are
extremely
hard
and more advanced compared to previous years.
In addition
, preparing students for entrance exams at an early age might
also
be an extra barrier although would
creates
mental tension and depression.
In this case
relaxation hours are essential.
Therefore
schooling
as well
as leisure moment plays an equal role for students betterment.

After thorough analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
that education is one of the primary factors for adolescents to attain the goal in this progressive world.
However
, there are
many
other extra curriculum performance like relaxing activities to overcome academic tension and to discern growing generation talents. The more parents should inspire children to express their views, the more posterity would rise.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that their children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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