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Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is annoying as smoking and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is annoying as smoking and should be banned. v. 1
Some people opine that mobile phones should be banned in public places as they are as annoying as smoking. I vehemently disagree with this point of view as, life without mobile phones is unimaginable in the present scenario. This essay will explain in detail the reasons for my disagreement. Firstly, we cannot ignore the fact that the lifestyle of the people has changed a lot in the recent years. As compared to the past, people have busier schedules. As a result, they spend most of their time outdoors. To stay in contact with their family and friends, they use mobile phones even in public places during their free times. A recent survey revealed that most of the people talk to their parents while commuting. If there is ban on mobile phone usage in public places, people will hardly get enough time to interact with their near and dear ones. Consequently, they might be depressed or deprived of the moral support that they usually get from their close ones. Secondly, jobs have become challenging these days and advanced smart phone features have made life easier. With video conferencing applications, one can conduct a webinar or attend a meeting at any time and place. Also, they can send emails, quotations, documents or pictures with one touch. For instance, many employees, who travel to different places while working, find mobile phones very useful. They can report to their seniors or coordinate with their peers and subordinates. Thus, mobiles can be considered as the need of the hour in this technological world. To sum up, I believe that ban on mobiles in public places is not a right decision to make as it has become one of the basic needs of humans. We cannot deny the fact the usage of mobile phones in public places is inevitable due to current lifestyles and work requirements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should
be banned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as they are as annoying as smoking. I
vehemently
disagree with this point of view as, life without mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is unimaginable in the present scenario. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail the reasons for my disagreement.

Firstly
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot in the recent years. As compared to the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busier schedules.
As a result
, they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outdoors. To stay in contact with their family and friends, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
even in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
during their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. A recent survey revealed that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talk to their parents while commuting. If there is ban on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with their near and dear ones.
Consequently
, they might
be depressed
or deprived of the moral support that they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their close ones.

Secondly
, jobs have become challenging these days and advanced smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
features have made life easier. With video conferencing applications, one can conduct a webinar or attend a meeting at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
emails, quotations, documents or pictures with one touch.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees, who travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
while working, find mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful. They can report to their seniors or coordinate with their peers and subordinates.
Thus
, mobiles can
be considered
as the need of the hour in this technological world.

To sum up, I believe that ban on mobiles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is not a right decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as it has become one of the basic needs of humans. We cannot deny the fact the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is inevitable due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyles and work requirements.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is annoying as smoking and should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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