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Some people believe that the salaries paid to professional sportspeople are too high. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the salaries paid to professional sportspeople are too high. JVWa5
It is often considered that the remuneration of proficient sportspeople is paid excessively high. Personally, I completely disagree with this view and will support my argument in this essay below. The first reason that leads me to believe a well-paid professional athlete is worth it is that they bring a reputation to a country. For example, when a place is popular in a sport attracts visitors and fans of this sport to visit and boosts the tourism industry. Moreover, professional sportspeople may face many difficulties and dangers to their health. In the process of training, they are prone to injuries, even serious injuries that affect their future, such as having to quit competing. Furthermore, professional athletes may be stressed from public opinion pressure from the press and the online community. For instance, even though professional athletes did their job well but the online community doesn't see it well enough, they will stare at the athletes and say a lot of bad things. Besides, athletes spend all their time training for the tough competitions that they do not have time to relax and entertain or spend time with their families, their friends. The most important thing for reason athletes' salaries is worth it is because there is a large audience of sports fans who are willing to pay for them. The fans feel they have done their duty well and they deserve a high salary. In conclusion, while many people argue that professional athletes get too much salary, I strongly believe that they deserve it.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered that the remuneration of proficient sportspeople
is paid
excessively
high.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this view and will support my argument in this essay below.

The
first
reason that leads me to believe a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
is worth it is that they bring a reputation to a country.
For example
, when a place is popular in a sport attracts visitors and fans of this sport to visit and boosts the tourism industry.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
sportspeople may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to their health. In the process of training, they are prone to injuries, even serious injuries that affect their future, such as having to quit competing.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
from public opinion pressure from the press and the online community.
For instance
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
did their job well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the online community doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they will stare at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
spend all their time training for the tough competitions that they do not have time to relax and entertain or spend time with their families, their friends. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for reason athletes' salaries is worth it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a large audience of sports fans who are willing to pay for them. The fans feel they have done their duty
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well and
they deserve a high salary.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too much salary, I
strongly
believe that they deserve it.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the salaries paid to professional sportspeople are too high.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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