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Doctor are concerned about using the computer games by childern cause a. Physical and mental

Doctor are concerned about using the computer games by childern cause a. Physical and mental E7ryM
In the recent years, computer games are papular in all the universe so some physician are worried regarding electronic games because most the children and youngster spend most of the time on it and it cast an adverse effect on children's body and brain. Nodubt, childern prefer to play indoor games like computer games ratherthan outside games. it leads to childern towards mental and physical disease. Due to computer games, yougsters have become couch potato becuse they always sit in one place for long hours whlie playing computer games and they are more prone to fatal disease like obesity becuse, lack of physical movement. if childern play outdoors games such as football and cricket, they will be physically fit and can not fall prey to dangerous ailments. along with this, electronic games also take a heavy toll on children's brain. when childern play games on computer they become very aggressive and roud because of heavy violence in games. they start behave roude in actual life that time they are voulerable to psychology problems like stress and depression. This situation can be improved with the help of effective steps. firstly, childern should be encouraged to participate in outdoor activities. Instead of playing electronic games, parents can motivate their children to take part in physical activity. secondly, school must organise game compitition between childern and taking part this compitition should be mandatory for all the students so everyone can involve in physical movement. thirdly, government had better make people aware about the negative effects of playing computer games and also eract a new playgrounds and garden far away from traffic congestion because many parents do not allow to childern out of the house because of safety reasons. last but not least, physical education sbuject should be introduced in school curriculum so childern can comprehend the importance of physical and mental health and they might learn about they do to keep healthy boady. In conclusion, after discussing the reasons, I believe that this phenomenon can be improved by making people aware and encouraging childern towards outdoors games.
In the recent years, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
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papular
in all the universe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "physicians"?
physician
are worried
regarding electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most the children and youngster spend most of the time on it and it cast an adverse effect on children's body and brain.

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Nodubt
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
prefer to play indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Possible spelling mistake found.
ratherthan
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
leads to
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childern
towards mental and
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physical
disease. Due to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
yougsters
have become couch potato
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuse
they always sit in one place for long hours
Possible spelling mistake found.
whlie
playing computer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they are more prone to fatal disease like obesity
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuse
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
movement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
play outdoors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as football and cricket, they will be
physically
fit and can not fall prey to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
ailments.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
along
with this, electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
take a heavy toll on children's brain.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
aggressive and
Possible spelling mistake found.
roud
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
behave
Possible spelling mistake found.
roude
in actual life that time they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
voulerable
to psychology problems like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression.

This situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of effective steps.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
should
be encouraged
to participate in outdoor activities.
Instead
of playing electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, parents can motivate their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
game
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
between
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childern
and taking part this
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
should be mandatory for all the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone can involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
movement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thirdly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
eract
a new playgrounds and garden far away from traffic congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of safety reasons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
sbuject
should
be introduced
in school curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
can comprehend the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they might learn about they do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
boady
.

In conclusion
, after discussing the reasons, I believe that this phenomenon can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware and encouraging
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
towards outdoors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Doctor are concerned about using the computer games by childern cause a. Physical and mental

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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