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Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

A segment of people, due to the widespread usage of illegalized drugs, opine that the issue can best be ameliorated by giving all drugs a legal authorization. I, however, completely oppose this viewpoint as I believe that doing so would even exacerbate the situation and thus, alternative methods need to be adopted. Firstly, giving a green flag to all the drugs would provide liberation to all the drug dealers to sell in whatever quantity and at whatever location they desire, which, as a repercussion, would enhance the drug consumption amongst people. Secondly, there would be no deterrent for the dealers, which, nonetheless was there when there was a ban on the trade of such drugs. As a result, the drug sellers would start carrying on their operations under freedom by having no fear of being caught up. Thirdly, the ramped-up intake of drugs would ultimately give birth to even more problems such as more criminal activities and consumption of drugs by the adolescents as well. The teenagers, who are the future of a country, may become drug addicts and make their life paralyzed. This, unfortunately, will leave no chances of weakening the whole nation or the whole world. Therefore, in spite of taking such futile decision, it is better recommended that the government becomes stricter towards the illegitimate drugs. The governing bodies, by ensuring regular checks and controls and hiking penalties for the offenders, can definitely resolve this threatening difficulty. Additionally, the government should deploy more personnel in order to make sure that all suspicious areas are being investigated in an efficient manner. In conclusion, I retrieve by saying that considering sale of all drugs to be lawful would do nothing but make the scenario even worse. Hence, the government, instead of doing this, should amend the laws, rise charges for the lawbreakers and escalate their inspections.
A segment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, due to the widespread usage of illegalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, opine that the issue can best
be ameliorated
by giving all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
a legal authorization. I,
however
, completely oppose this viewpoint as I believe that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
would even exacerbate the situation and
thus
, alternative methods need to
be adopted
.

Firstly
, giving a green flag to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
would provide liberation to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers to sell in whatever quantity and at whatever location they desire, which, as a repercussion, would enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
consumption amongst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, there would be no deterrent for the dealers, which, nonetheless was there when there was a ban on the trade of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
sellers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
carrying on their operations under freedom by having no fear of
being caught
up.

Thirdly
, the ramped-up intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
would
ultimately
give birth to even more problems such as more criminal activities and consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
by the adolescents
as well
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, who are the future of a country, may become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life paralyzed. This, unfortunately, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no chances of weakening the whole nation or the whole world.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
taking such futile decision, it is better recommended that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
becomes stricter towards the illegitimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. The governing bodies, by ensuring regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
and controls and hiking penalties for the offenders, can definitely resolve this threatening difficulty.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should deploy more personnel in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that all suspicious areas are
being investigated
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “efficiently” to avoid wordiness.
in an efficient manner
.

In conclusion
, I retrieve by saying that considering sale of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to be lawful would do nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the scenario even worse.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
instead
of doing this, should amend the laws, rise charges for the lawbreakers and escalate their inspections.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. with this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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