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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Advertisement is a platform for the marketers where they can present their products and decribe their features to their proposed customers. It has been said vigorously that most of the time adverts motivated the customers to buy those goods or services which they do not requires. However, I completely disagree with this arguement and in my opinion advertisement helps people to grow significatly with the duration of time by accepting the new products. First of all, we are living in the age of technlogy where all the communication regarding the goods can be possible through tv channels, social networking sites and media itself. Also, these channels enable us to keep updated with the current trends and affairs occur in the market. Through these medium we come to know about the merchandise that help our society to upgrade our living standards. For eaxample, I came from india and there are so many villages where women donot know the existance of sanitary pads before and through these commercials they have known about these products availabe in the market. Another reason, method of defining the rights of people. These promotion are not always linked with products offering but also assist us to know our right through which no one can dare to manipulate any person. Apart from that, they help the youth to keep update regarding the opportnities that they are waiting for so long that can enhance their career. Neverthless, advertisement is consider as a source of information in modern era but some orthodox people believe that these are the agenda of marketers to emphasize people so that they buy the products that they donot want. To conclude, in my viewpoints sometimes advertisemnt attracts the people towards differn merchandise that are not mandatory for people but purchasing those products is not forcefully implented on them.
Advertisement is a platform for the marketers where they can present their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
decribe
their features to their proposed customers. It has
been said
vigorously
that most of the time adverts motivated the customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or services which they do not
Did you mean “require”?
requires
.
However
, I completely disagree with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
and in my opinion advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to grow
Possible spelling mistake found.
significatly
with the duration of time by accepting the new products.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, we are living in the age of
Possible spelling mistake found.
technlogy
where all the communication regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can be possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels, social networking sites and media itself.
Also
, these channels enable us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
updated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trends and affairs occur in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
these medium we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the merchandise that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our society to upgrade our living standards. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
eaxample
, I came from
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages where women
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
know the
Possible spelling mistake found.
existance
of sanitary pads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
these commercials they have known about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Possible spelling mistake found.
availabe
in the market.

Another reason, method of defining the rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘promotion’. Did you mean “this promotion” or “These promotions”?
These promotion
are not always linked with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist us to know our right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
which no one can dare to manipulate any person. Apart from that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
update regarding the
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportnities
that they are waiting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long that can enhance their career.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
, advertisement is
Consider using either the past participle “considered” or the present participle “considering” here.
consider
as a source of information in modern
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
orthodox
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these are the agenda of marketers to emphasize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
want.

To conclude
, in my viewpoints
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisemnt
attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
differn
merchandise that are not mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
purchasing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is not
forcefully
Possible spelling mistake found.
implented
on them.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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