Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that the museums and historic sites should be open for free for children under 18. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that the museums and historic sites should be open for free for children under 18. v. 3
As compared to the past decade, there has been a decrease in people visiting historic sites. Some people argue that the cost to enter the museum for kids and teenagers should be free. I strongly agree with this view. In my opinion, it is necessary to give education about our ancestor's relics and history to the younger generations by promoting them to visit the museum and historic sites. I shall explain the point and present logical arguments, followed by some examples. To begin with, there is indeed a decline in people visiting historical places. It is because of the high entrance fees, which not all people can afford that. Since there is a free charge for the youths, it will increase the number of young visitors to come. By making this cost-free, the kids and teenagers will ask their parents to accompany them to those sites. Therefore, the parents will feel assured that their kids will get the education for free. For example, if there is an event that is free to attend, everyone would rush to visit without thinking twice. To illustrate it more, the free charge of historic site entrance will also make a good impact on the kids' education. By visiting the museum and historic sites regularly, they will learn something either good or bad history from our ancestor's past. For instance, when I was little my parents liked to bring me to some historical places such as the museum, art galleries, and monuments. I learned a lot about my nation's history from visiting those sites. Thus, it also helped me to learn history easier at school. To conclude, the historic sites must be cost-free for kids and teenagers. It gives many benefits for the younger generations to learn more about its past and history. Hence, for this case, I think the government should have made the historical places charge-free to give a better education for the youths.
As compared to the past decade, there has been a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the cost to enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my opinion, it is necessary to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
about our ancestor's relics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to the younger generations by promoting them to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the point and present logical arguments, followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is
indeed
a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting historical places. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high entrance fees, which not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford that. Since there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
charge for the youths, it will increase the number of young visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. By making this cost-free, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will ask their parents to accompany them to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Therefore
, the parents will feel assured that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
For example
, if there is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to attend, everyone would rush to visit without thinking twice.

To illustrate it more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
entrance will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on the kids'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. By visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
regularly
, they will learn something either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
from our ancestor's past.
For instance
, when I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
my parents liked to bring me to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical places such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, art galleries, and monuments. I learned a lot about my nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
from visiting those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Thus
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
easier at school.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be cost
-free for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for the younger generations to learn more about its past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Hence
, for this case, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have made the historical places charge-free to give a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the youths.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the museums and historic sites should be open for free for children under 18. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts